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The Sunnydale Herald
by Waddiwasiwitch (30 March 2015)

GUNN (reading his pager): Sorry, just got your message. Being close to Electric Gwen can really screw your equipment. What... (looks up from his pager at the gang) the hell happened to you?
FRED(holding an ice pack to her face): Cordy's evil. Nice suit.
ANGEL: It's not Cordy.
WESLEY: We don't know that for certain.
GUNN: Whoa. Back it up for the new guy. (puts his pager back in his pocket) You saying popping mama threw you a beating?
LORNE: Kid Vicious did the heavy lifting. Cordy just mwa-ha-ha'd at us. (sips his drink)

~~Inside Out~~


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The Sunnydale Herald
by Waddiwasiwitch (28 March 2015)

VAMPIRE 1(looks up from the pool table): Hey. Hey. Isn't that...?
VAMPIRE 2: Yeah.
ANGELUS: That's right, brothers and sisters. The rumors are true. Angel has left the building, and I am back.
CROWD(claps) Welcome back!
ANGELUS: But hey, I'm no different than the next guy. I put my victims' skin on one leg at a time.

~~Sanctuary~~


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The Sunnydale Herald, Friday March 27
by audela (27 March 2015)

NOSTROYEV: You may have made a name for yourself muscling around weaker vampires...
SPIKE: Hang on!
NOSTROYEV: But I am Nostroyev. I will tear you open and play Coachman, Spare Your Horses on the lute of your entrails. Get out of my way.
(Angel stakes Nostroyev)
ANGEL: We don't kill the humans 'til we reach land. Is that clear?
SPIKE: Heil Hitler.

~~Why We Fight~~


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The Sunnydale Herald, Wednesday, March 25 - Thursday, March 26
by Rahirah (26 March 2015)

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The Sunnydale Herald Monday March 25th 2015
by lynnylou (23 March 2015)

BUFFY: We found an empty grave.
GILES: Another vampire?
BUFFY: No. No, this one was dug up and the body was taken out.
GILES: Grave robbing? That's new. Interesting.
BUFFY: I *know* you meant to say gross and disturbing.
GILES: Yes, yes, yes of course. Uh, terrible thing. Must, must put a stop to it. Damn it.

~~Some Assembly Required~~





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The Sunnydale Herald Monday March 25th 2015
by
lynnylou (23 March 2015)

BUFFY: We found an empty grave.
GILES: Another vampire?
BUFFY: No. No, this one was dug up and the body was taken out.
GILES: Grave robbing? That's new. Interesting.
BUFFY: I *know* you meant to say gross and disturbing.
GILES: Yes, yes, yes of course. Uh, terrible thing. Must, must put a stop to it. Damn it.

~~Some Assembly Required~~





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The Sunnydale Herald
by
Waddiwasiwitch (21 March 2015)

Wes: "She was so smart."
Angel: "I'm gonna miss her. She was just this nice, quiet kind of crazy. - I found that - soothing."
Cordy: "And what? I'm not soothing? (Cordy sits up) I can be soothing. I could soothe your ass off, pal."

~~Fredless~~


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The Sunnydale Herald, Friday March 20
by audela (20 March 2015)

SPIKE: Really should knock on a bloke's door... especially one that's got no qualms about killing trespassers.
LINDSEY: Come on. Is that any way to talk to your benefactor? Just a little concerned about you. You haven't been out in the field lately.
SPIKE: In case you haven't been keeping up with the sports pages, I got my bloody hands hacked off by that deranged slayer you sent me after.
LINDSEY: Yeah, I'm sorry about that, but, hey, your good old buddies at Wolfram & Hart managed to reattach them just fine, huh? You can sit around here and play video games.
SPIKE: Rehab, mate. Working out the digits. You got no idea how rotten this feels.
LINDSEY: Amazingly enough, I do. Yeah. Got my hand cut off a few years back. Line of duty. So believe me when I tell you, I can feel your pain.
SPIKE: Well, half of it, anyway. I'll give you that.

~~You’re Welcome~~


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The Sunnydale Herald, Wednesday, March 18 - Thursday, March 19
by Rahirah (19 March 2015)

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The Sunnydale Herald
by Waddiwasiwitch (16 March 2015)

Buffy: Giles, unto every generation is born one who must run the annual talentless show. You cannot escape your destiny.
Giles: If you had any shred of decency, you would have participated, or at least, um, helped.
Buffy: Nah! I think I'll take on your traditional role... and watch!
Xander: And mock!
Willow: And laugh!
Buffy: O-kay. I think maybe we better leave our Mr. Giles to this business he calls a show.
Buffy: Principal Snyder!
Snyder: So. We think school events are stupid, and we think authority figures are to be made fun of.
Buffy: No! No, we don't. W-unless you do.
Snyder: And we think our afternoon classes are optional. All three of you left campus yesterday.
Buffy: Yeah, but we were fighting a demon...
Snyder: Fighting?
Buffy: Not fighting.
Xander: No, we, uh, left to *avoid* fighting.
Snyder: Real anti-social types. You need to integrate into this school, people. (crosses his arms) I think I just found three eager new participants for the talent show.

~~The Puppet Show~~


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The Sunnydale Herald
by Waddiwasiwitch (14 March 2015)

ANYA: And you believe him?
BUFFY: You didn't see him down there. He really didn't know what he'd done. It wasn't in his control.
XANDER: Oh, an out of control serial killer. You're right, that is a great houseguest.
DAWN: Wait, is he—is he staying here?
BUFFY: I don't know. But I'm not letting him out of my sight, that's for sure.
WILLOW: Buffy, he's been feeding... on human blood. That's gotta do stuff.
BUFFY: I'm not keeping him around just to help him. I think there was something there, talking to him, making him do things.
WILLOW: Something like what was talking to us?
BUFFY: Maybe. But if it was, it's been screwing with Spike big time.

~~The Sleeper~~


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The Sunnydale Herald, Friday March 13
by audela (13 March 2015)

ANDREW: She's a slayer. That means she's ours.
ANGEL: Yeah. Sorry. Not how it works. (to the guards) Load her up. Don't hesitate to tranq her if she so much as—
ANDREW: No. I don't think you... heard me, Angel.
ANDREW: Think we're just gonna let you take her back to your evil stronghold? Well, as they say in Mexico... No. We're not...gonna... let you.
ANGEL: She's psychotic, and I'm not turning her over...to you.
ANDREW: You don't have a choice. Check the view screen, Uhura. I got 12 Vampyr Slayers behind me, and not one of them has ever dated you. She's coming with us one way or another.

~~Damage~~


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The Sunnydale Herald, Wednesday, March 11 - Thursday, March 12
by Rahirah (13 March 2015)

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The Sunnydale Herald Monday March 9th 2015
by lynnylou (9 March 2015)

GILES: This is madness! What can you have been thinking? You are the Slayer! Lives depend upon you! I make allowances for your youth, but I expect a certain amount of responsibility, and instead of which you enslave yourself to this, this... Cult?
BUFFY: (wearing a cheerleader outfit) You don't like the color?
GILES: I d... (exasperated) Do you, um... Do you ignore everything I say as a, as a rule?
BUFFY: No, I believe that's your trick. I told you, I'm trying out for the cheerleading squad!
GILES: You have a sacred birthright, Buffy. You were chosen to destroy vampires, not to... wave pompoms at people. And as the Watcher I forbid it.
BUFFY: And you'll be stopping me how?
GILES: Well, I... By appealing to your common sense, if such a creature exists.
BUFFY: I will still have time to fight the forces of evil, okay? I just wanna have a life, I wanna do something normal. Something safe.

~~The Witch ~~





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The Sunnydale Herald
by
Waddiwasiwitch (7 March 2015)

BUFFY: Yes, Agent Finn, Riley. Tell him we're having a problem with Spike's chip. No his chip. Spike.
SPIKE:(shakes his head) Listen, pet?
BUFFY: No, no, Finn is his last name. Yeah. Well, did he used to work there and then he got transferred? (Spike's chip goes off again, he thrashes on the stairs unnoticed by Buffy) Oh, is this actually a flower shop, or is this one of those things where I'm supposed to play along to show that I know it's really secret ops? Oh, maybe I shouldn't have said that. Oh, OK, right. Well, if some guy named Finn shows up to buy flowers— Yeah. Thanks. (hangs up, turns to Spike) Wrong number. Or a giant government conspiracy, one or the— (notices he's recovering from an episode) Spike?
SPIKE: This one seemed easier than the others. See? Probably just gonna fade— (screams, holding his head again)

~~The Killer in Me~~


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