Transcribed by Joan the English Chick (email@example.com).
Teaser[an error occurred while processing this directive]
GILES VOICEOVER: Previously on Buffy the Vampire Slayer...
Anya walking away from the house. Xander intercepting her.
XANDER: Anya! What's wrong with you?
ANYA: First you, you give me this beautiful ring, and then I can't wear it in public. I mean, don't you wanna get married?
Dawn and Tara in the magic shop.
DAWN: Come on, Tara. I am so old enough to do research.
BUFFY: You do research now? Want a cappuccino and a pack of cigarettes to go with it? Dawn and Buffy in their house.
DAWN: Why should I care about any of this?
BUFFY: Because they'll take you away! If I can't make you go to school ... then I won't be found fit to be your legal guardian.
Willow and Buffy in the workout room.
WILLOW: Since you've ... been back, you haven't exactly been big with the whole range of human emotions thing. Spike and Buffy in the house.
SPIKE: I know you'll never love me. But you treat me like a man.
Open on the magic shop, day. It's Halloween and the shop is filled with customers, including many laughing children. Pan across a large banner reading "Halloween Bone-Anza" with the letters spelled out in paper bones (the O in "Bone" is a paper skull).
Anya moves through the store on roller-skates. She wears very short candy-striped shorts, a red blouse, and Farrah Fawcett hair.
ANYA: (to customer) Um, everything on this table's half off. Including the table.
She skates on.
ANYA: (to second customer) Buy one eyeball, get the second one free!
In the background we see Giles working the cash register, wearing a wizard robe. In foreground is Xander, dressed as a pirate, talking to some children. He holds a jar.
XANDER: Arrr! Careful, me mateys! These be fireflies spat from a volcano off the coast of Katmandu. Arr!
LITTLE BOY: (dressed as a fireman) You're not a real pirate! Real pirates live on boats and don't look stupid!
XANDER: (fake laugh) Oh, a salty swabbie! Maybe you be fishin' for the taste ... of me hook!
He shakes his hook-hand in the boy's face. The boy is unimpressed.
GILES: (calls) Uh, hello, Ahab, a little help please?
XANDER: Arr, and help ye shall have, arr!
Xander gives the boy a menacing look and goes off, scratching his neck with the hook.
Dawn walks across the store, dressed normally. She puts something down on the table next to Anya.
DAWN: So what are you supposed to be?
ANYA: An angel.
DAWN: Oh. Shouldn't you have wings?
ANYA: Oh no, this is a special kind of angel called a Charlie. We don't have wings, we just skate around with perfect hair fighting crime. Where's your costume? (skates away)
DAWN: (follows) Like I'm six years old? Halloween's so lame.
ANYA: But you get to dress up, and play games! Xander's gonna teach me a new one after work called Shiver Me Timbers. Ever play?
Tara appears just in time to hear this and intervene.
TARA: Uh, Dawn, Willow could use some help in magical texts.
DAWN: (grins) I'm all over it. (walks away)
ANYA: (to Tara) How 'bout you, ever play Shiver Me Timbers?
TARA: I'm not really much for the timber.
Cut to Willow on the other side of the room holding up a book on witchcraft.
WILLOW: (angrily) I'm just saying you might wanna rethink the stereotype before someone turns *you* into a toad.
We see that she's talking to a woman in traditional Halloween witch costume (hooked nose, pointy black hat, warts, etc.). The woman looks annoyed, grabs the book and walks away.
WILLOW: And while you're at it, why don't you try removing that broomstick from your-
Dawn appears behind the witch, approaching Willow.
WILLOW: (catches herself) Dawn!
DAWN: Hey. Don't stop the invective on account of me.
WILLOW: If I see one more idiot that thinks witches are all hairy moles and rotted teeth-
WITCHY-POO: Excuse me, do you have any candy corn?
Willow and Dawn look down to see a tiny little girl dressed in a similar witch costume.
WILLOW: Oh, look at you! (kneels by the girl) You are just the cutest thing!
DAWN: I-I thought you said-
WILLOW: I know, but look, with the hat, and the, the wart! (smiles) Oh! Let's go fill your tummy up with sugary niblets, okay?
Willow leads the cute little witch away. Dawn watches with a smile.
Then Dawn looks down at a nearby display table. Shot of a large gold coin with a picture of a dragon on it.
Dawn looks around furtively, picks up the coin and slips it in her pocket.
ANYA: (OS) Buffy!
Dawn tries to look casual, walks off.
Cut to Anya skating over to Buffy. Buffy carries a large cardboard box.
ANYA: We're running low on mandrake root. Check the basement. (skates off)
BUFFY: (to herself) Don't blame me if we have this conversation over and over... (walks off)
Cut to the basement. Buffy comes down the stairs still holding the box.
BUFFY: ...and over ... and over, and over.
She reaches the bottom of the stairs and turns to go around them, just as Spike emerges from underneath them.
Both jump in surprise, then sigh.
BUFFY: Bell. Neck. Look into it.
SPIKE: Come with a nice leather collar, does it?
BUFFY: What are you doing lurking down here?
SPIKE: (sighs) Came through the tunnels. (holds up a handful of vines) Running low on burba weed. Stir it in with the blood. Makes it all hot 'n spicy.
Buffy makes a very "ew" face, turns away to put the box down.
SPIKE: What? I was gonna pay for it.
Buffy gives him a skeptical look as she comes back toward him.
SPIKE: I mean, no. I was gonna nick it, 'cause that's what I do. (sighs) I go where I please and I take what I want, and what's your excuse anyway? (nods toward upstairs) I thought you'd had it to the brim with customer disservice.
BUFFY: One-time deal to help out. And I mean straight time. No loop-de-loop mummy hand repeat-o-vision.
Spike nods understanding. Buffy looks around, looks embarrassed.
BUFFY: Where's the mandrake root?
Spike looks around, moves toward a shelf covered with jars.
SPIKE: Um ... here. (takes down a jar) Only three to a jar. (gives her the jar) Tend to ... go a bit wonky if you cram them too close.
SPIKE: Feel like a bit of the rough and tumble?
BUFFY: (shocked) What?
SPIKE: Me ... you...
She stares at him, still shocked.
SPIKE: Patrolling? Hello?
BUFFY: Oh. Uh ... I ... should stay. Maybe tomorrow.
It's a little awkward. They both turn away, Buffy toward the stairs and Spike toward the direction he came from.
SPIKE: It's not like I don't already have plans. Great Pumpkin's on in twenty.
He turns and leaves. Buffy shakes her head.
BUFFY: (to herself) So much easier to talk to when he wanted to kill me.
She heads up the stairs.
Cut to above. Buffy emerges from the basement, still carrying the jar of mandrake root. She closes the door, takes a few steps forward and is intercepted by Anya, who takes the jar.
ANYA: Ooh! Go help Giles. (skates away)
Buffy turns and goes through the swing-door that separates the area behind the cash register from the rest of the store. Giles is busily ringing up a customer at the cash register. There's a long line of other customers waiting.
BUFFY: What happened to Xander?
GILES: He kept poking me with his hook. (Buffy picks up an item from the counter) I sent him over to charmed objects. With any luck he'll poke the wrong one and end up in an alternative dimension inhabited by a 50-foot Giles that squishes annoying teeny pirates.
While speaking the previous line Giles rings up a sale and packs several items into a bag. Now he takes the item Buffy is holding, puts it in the bag and gives it to a customer.
GILES: We've got a ton of bagging to do here.
BUFFY: Actually, Spike had a really good idea. You know, maybe I should (quietly) patrol.
GILES: Buffy, you've been patrolling every night this week. (takes an item from a customer, rings it up) Besides, it's Halloween, it's the one time of the year that supernatural threats give it a well-deserved rest. As should you.
BUFFY: Yeah, what about costumes that take over your personality? Or, wee little Irish fear-demon-y thingies?
GILES: Yes, well, if anything calamitous should happen, history suggests it'll happen to one of us. (hands a customer some change)
BUFFY: Right, exactly, so I should patrol to avoid any of that- (Giles shoves the item in her hand) and I'm bagging.
Cut to the street, day. Children in costume run around, shouting.
An elderly man in a brown suit and hat walks down the street, carrying a large paper bag, humming "Pop Goes The Weasel." He walks up the stairs to a house.
Cut to inside. The old man enters, still humming. He puts his hat on a hook and walks through the house. We see toys everywhere on shelves and tables, many of them carved out of wood.
The old man continues humming as he goes into the kitchen. A large pot is on the stove, steaming. He sniffs it briefly, puts the bag down on the counter.
KALTENBACH: (sings to the same tune) Da da da da da-da da da, happy Halloween.
He looks out the window at the street. Shot of a bunch of kids on the sidewalk talking.
KALTENBACH: Ha ha! Give you ... something ... special this year.
He turns and opens a drawer, takes out a large knife. He tests the blade with his thumb while humming the final notes of the tune.
Wolf howl. Opening credits.
Special Guest Star Anthony Stewart Head. Guest Starring John O'Leary, Kavan Reece, Amber Tamblyn, Dave Power, and Amber Benson as Tara. Written by Stephen S. DeKnight, directed by David Solomon.
Open on exterior shot of the magic shop, night. A few people exit.
Cut to inside. Dawn stands at the door waving the last customers out.
DAWN: Come again! (weak laugh)
She closes the door and leans against it with a grimace.
DAWN: Uhh! In a zillion years.
We see Xander lying on his back on the floor.
XANDER: Store go boom. (waves his hook hand weakly) Arr.
Wider shot of the others sitting around looking very tired. Giles and Buffy sit on the steps beside Xander; Willow and Tara in chairs nearby.
We see Anya behind the counter.
ANYA: That was the most incredible thing I have ever experienced.
Xander lifts his head to look over at her.
ANYA: Except for that.
Dawn walks across the room to join Anya behind the counter.
ANYA: What you all did for me tonight ... the astounding heaps of money you helped me- (Xander clears his throat) ...us acquire. All I can say is, I hope we make as much tomorrow.
BUFFY: (in dismay) Tomorrow?
ANYA: Oh, post-holiday clearance. (smiles) The cornerstone of retail.
Everyone groans. Giles gets to his feet with a grimace.
GILES: Brooms all around, then.
WILLOW: Or I could whip up a jaunty self-cleaning incantation, it'll be like Fantasia.
GILES: We all know how splendidly that turned out for Mickey. (gives Willow a broom and dustpan)
WILLOW: I think I'm a little more adept than a cartoon mouse.
TARA: And you have more fingers, which is good, 'cause... (shot of Anya counting her money) ...there's no need to wear those big white gloves to overcompensate.
BUFFY: (to Xander) You know, if you had a real peg leg, you wouldn't just have a lame costume, you'd actually be lame. Which is completely different.
Xander isn't listening; he's staring at Anya.
Anya and Dawn are behind the counter, doing a little dance.
DAWN: (smiling) You do this every night?
ANYA: Every time I close out the cash register. The dance of capitalist superiority.
Anya continues dancing, and Dawn copies her movement. Xander continues watching.
XANDER: (softly) I'm gonna marry that girl.
BUFFY: What?! She's fifteen and my sister, so don't ev- (gets it) Oh.
XANDER: Hey, everybody. (stands up) Can I, um ... uh ... there's something Anya and I ... wanna tell you.
He walks over to the counter. Anya comes to his side, holding a stack of paper money.
ANYA: (quietly) Now?
Xander puts his arm around Anya's shoulders, turns to face the rest of the gang.
XANDER: We're getting married.
DAWN: (smiling) Oh my god.
Buffy and Giles walk closer.
WILLOW: (not smiling) That ... that's ... wow.
XANDER: It's a big wow.
ANYA: (to Xander) I ... I thought you were waiting for the right moment.
Xander gazes fondly at her.
XANDER: I did.
They kiss. Dawn watches intently.
Anya giggles as the kiss ends.
ANYA: Here, have some money!
Anya tosses money at Dawn, who catches some of it, smiling. Anya and Xander resume kissing.
BUFFY: (quietly to Giles) Did you know about this?
GILES: No. Unless I blocked it from my memory, (glancing at Xander and Anya) much as I will Xander's vigorous use of his tongue.
Giles removes his glasses and begins to clean them. Buffy watches this with an expression of outrage.
BUFFY: (shocked) Is that why you're always cleaning your glasses? So you don't have to see what we're doing?
GILES: Tell no one. (puts glasses on)
Buffy looks back over at Anya and Xander. They are still kissing.
BUFFY: Giles, this is...
Shot of Dawn watching the kissing with a wistful smile. Cut back to Buffy and Giles.
BUFFY: ...we have to do something.
Cut to a close-up of Anya's hand, wearing the engagement ring. Another hand is holding hers.
ANYA: And he said he couldn't imagine the rest of his life without me, and then he gave me this!
Pull out to reveal Xander standing beside her. It's Dawn holding Anya's hand to look at the ring. We're in the Summers living room. Music in the background.
XANDER: Which I'll be paying for the rest of my life.
DAWN: Can I try it on?
ANYA: (big smile) Oh, absolutely not.
Giles and Buffy appear from the kitchen, carrying cups.
GILES: Where I come from, this sort of thing requires much in the way of libation.
Everyone takes a cup.
XANDER: God save the queen!
BUFFY: Sorry we couldn't do the big fancy. You kinda caught us with our parties down.
ANYA: Oh, that's okay. This is just the first premarital celebration. There'll be lots more. With gifts.
Tara and Willow appear with bowls of snacks.
TARA: Sure, maybe we'll even have time to decorate for the next one.
WILLOW: Why wait?
Willow speaks a few words of Japanese(?) and a shimmer goes through the room. When it passes, the room is decorated with paper lanterns and streamers.
Dawn laughs with pleasure. The others look around. Tara looks unhappy.
ANYA: This is so much better than the way it usually looks. Thank you.
Anya hugs Willow. Giles gives a disapproving look, which he shares with Tara.
Cut to the kitchen. Willow pours snacks from a bag into a large bowl. Tara sits by the island.
TARA: The grocery store's still open, we ... could've bought decorations there.
WILLOW: Why bother? These are perfect. And extra biodegradable-y. In a couple of hours, poof!
TARA: No, they're, they're great, it's just ... why use magic when you can do something naturally?
WILLOW: Well, you can fight monsters naturally, with sticks and stones. Don't recommend it though. (drinking from a cup)
TARA: It's different.
TARA: Becau- (sighs) Because you're protecting people. Keeping them from being hurt.
WILLOW: Which makes them happy. Like pretty decorations made Anya happy.
TARA: (sighs) That's not the point, Will.
WILLOW: Why are you being like this?
TARA: This isn't about me!
WILLOW: This is so about you. You're always coming down on me for, for doing magic that couldn't harm a fly. What's your problem?
TARA: Willow, I j-just wish that you would stop and think about what you're-
Tara stops as she sees Willow looking toward the door. Dawn is standing there.
DAWN: (nervous) Sorry. Just checkin' on the chips.
WILLOW: It's okay. We're done.
Willow takes the bowl of chips and walks out. Dawn gives Tara an anxious look, then follows Willow.
Cut to the living room. Buffy and Xander are hugging.
BUFFY: You're getting married! You!
XANDER: (hoarsely) Me. Choking.
BUFFY: Oh, sorry. (lets him go) I just, I can't believe it. Seems like only yesterday you had to pay a girl to date you.
XANDER: Like I'd ever pay. (snickers nervously) Define 'date.'
Willow and Dawn approach carrying the bowl of snacks.
BUFFY: I was only out of commission for three months. (to Willow) How many other things have changed since I've been away?
DAWN: (smiling) Ooh, I got a tattoo!
BUFFY: (shocked) What?!
WILLOW: Which is why we told her no.
DAWN: (wheedling) Just a little one?
BUFFY: Over my dead body. (Willow sits on sofa) The kind that doesn't come back.
DAWN: (pouty) Fine. (sees Anya) Congratulations.
Dawn hugs Anya briefly.
DAWN: You're very lucky. Finding a guy like him.
XANDER: Not as lucky as me.
Xander kisses Anya on the cheek. Buffy watches with a smile.
DAWN: See you guys tomorrow? (starts to leave)
BUFFY: Whoa! (grabs Dawn's arm) Tomorrow?
DAWN: Yeah. I'm sleeping over at Janice's, remember?
BUFFY: That's tonight?
DAWN: No. It's on the other Halloween. (Giles enters with more snacks) Come on, you said I could.
BUFFY: Uh ... (glances at Willow) Well ... I know I did, it's just, you know, now with Xander's party, I-
XANDER: Ah, we're good. But you have to get us some extra gifts for our reception.
ANYA: Yes please.
BUFFY: I-I don't know. Giles?
GILES: Uh, it's really not up to me.
DAWN: Come on. It's four blocks away, I'll walk straight over. Not like I'm gonna be roaming the streets. (cajoling) Please?
Cut to Dawn walking down a residential street. It's very busy with parents and costumed kids walking around, sound of kids yelling and laughing.
Dawn pauses, looks around, grins slightly and moves to her left.
Cut to Dawn walking down a dark alley. The sound of children is gone; distant police sirens instead. Dawn hears a banging noise and slows.
She walks forward slowly, picking up a piece of wood and holding it like a club. We can vaguely see the shapes of two people through the slats of a large wooden box.
Dawn walks up to the box's opening and sees that it's two young people kissing.
DAWN: Sorry. I thought-
Dawn backs away, bumping into someone behind her. She turns around with a gasp of fear, then smiles in relief as she sees the other girl.
JANICE: Hey Summers. Did you get over the wall okay?
DAWN: Yeah. My sister thinks I'm staying at your house.
JANICE: Ahh. The Mominator thinks I'm staying at yours. (laughs) Can't believe they fell for that one, like, own a TV.
She and Dawn both laugh.
DAWN: So where're we meeting?
JANICE: (proudly) The park. (fake spooky voice) That's where all the monsters gather on Halloween.
The two girls smile, turn and walk away together.
Cut to the park. A teenage boy (Zack) is standing on a swing.
We see two other boys and two girls sitting on a nearby bench with a stereo blaring. One of the boys (Justin) throws something at Zack.
ZACK: To infinity and- (the thrown object hits him) ow!
JUSTIN: (sarcastic) Oops.
JANICE: Nice shot.
Janice and Dawn walk up. Zack jumps down from the swing. He and Justin walk over to the girls.
ZACK: Hey baby. (hugs Janice)
ZACK: What took you so long?
JANICE: Ah, we stopped for crimes and misdemeanors. Zack, this is my friend Dawn I was telling you about.
ZACK: (to Dawn) Hel-loooo.
Zack leers at Dawn. Janice shoves him.
JUSTIN: (to Dawn) Hey. (sticks out his hand) Justin.
DAWN: (shakes his hand) I know. I've seen you around at a couple of parties.
JUSTIN: I've seen you too.
Dawn looks very pleased to hear this.
The other boy and the two girls walk by.
BOY: Hey, we'll catch you guys later.
ZACK: Alone at last.
JANICE: So! What do you guys wanna do?
Zack and Justin exchange a suggestive look, then look at the girls. Dawn smiles bashfully.
Cut to a house with a cardboard witch decoration in front of it. An egg smashes against the witch.
We see Zack standing on the lawn having just thrown the egg. Janice in background.
ZACK: Yeah, three points! Woo!
We see Dawn and Justin nearby. Justin is crouched by a car, letting the air out of its tires.
DAWN: (to Justin) Uh, witches don't really look like that.
JUSTIN: You got a lot of witch friends?
DAWN: No! I mean, from stuff ... that I've read ... and stuff. Um, some of them are supposed to be really pretty, and you don't wanna get them mad-
ZACK: (runs past) New target, come on!
Justin jumps up and runs after Zack. Janice walks over to Dawn and they begin walking after the guys.
DAWN: He's okay.
JANICE: Ho-hum okay, or like ... 'oh my god I think I'm gonna pee my pants' okay?
They both giggle.
Cut to a shot of a mailbox on a wooden stand, draped with orange crepe paper. A foot appears and kicks the mailbox off its stand.
Pull back to reveal Zack who puts his foot back down and continues walking. He and Justin walk side-by-side. We can see the girls walking about twenty feet behind.
ZACK: So what's the verdict, cap'n? Is little Justin in love?
JUSTIN: I don't know. (punches Zack on the arm) She's cute.
ZACK: Well, congratulations for having eyeballs. But what about, uh, you know, going all the way? Do you think-
The girls can be heard giggling. Zack looks back and notices that the girls have gotten closer and are now in earshot.
ZACK: (loudly) ...that the moon and the stars look lovely tonight?
The girls stop giggling. All four continue walking.
JANICE: Hey, you think when we're done with this juvie crap maybe we can do something else? I'm gettin' kinda bored.
Zack looks off to his right, smiles, stops walking.
ZACK: Just one more.
Shot of the old man's house from earlier.
Cut to Xander sitting on the stairs inside the Summers house. A hand appears in front of him holding two plastic cups. He takes one. Giles sits beside him holding the other cup.
GILES: Anya is a wonderful former vengeance demon, I'm sure you'll spend ... many years of ... non-hell-dimensional bliss.
Xander smiles, looks a bit nervous.
GILES: Is she moving in with you?
GILES: You know, with your combined incomes, you might think about a down payment on a house.
XANDER: Like the kind you *live* in?
GILES: No rush. I'm sure you have plenty to think about with the arrangements for the wedding and so on. You've got the rest of your lives to plan the rest of your lives.
XANDER: (laughs, nervously) Yeah, yeah.
They sit there. Xander looks increasingly nervous.
Cut back to the old man's house.
JANICE: (OS) No way.
Cut to the four teens standing and looking at the house.
JANICE: You know who lives there?
JUSTIN: Old man Kaltenbach.
ZACK: Crusty old bastard.
DAWN: Isn't he supposed to be ... mental or something?
ZACK: Total looney-tunes. Pumpkins...
Closer shot of the house. There's a pumpkin on the front step carved into a cheery smile.
ZACK: (OS) Very dangerous.
Cut back to Zack and Janice. He nudges her.
ZACK: You go first.
JANICE: Wha - huh - screw that!
ZACK: Come on, show us how brave you are. Let's see those cute little girlie guts.
Janice shoves him angrily. He just laughs.
JUSTIN: Hey, lay off, man. If she doesn't wanna-
DAWN: I'll do it.
ZACK: Go Dawn!
JUSTIN: (to Dawn) Look. You don't have to do this.
DAWN: (looks at him) It's okay. (smiles) I want to.
Dawn takes a nervous step forward, walks toward the house as the others watch.
Very nervously, she walks up the steps, picks up the pumpkin, raises it over her head. She turns to smile at the others.
The others smile back, then look alarmed.
A hand grabs one of Dawn's arms. She shrieks in fear and drops the pumpkin. It smashes on the steps.
Dawn looks fearfully up at the old man as he leans toward her.
KALTENBACH: Shouldn't oughta mess with those. Sometimes they bite.
Justin runs over, following by Zack and Janice.
JUSTIN: Get away from her!
ZACK: Don't make me go kung-fu on you, man! (makes kung-fu movie gestures)
The old man stares, then laughs.
KALTENBACH: Come on inside, kids, got somethin' special for ya.
He turns to go back inside.
KALTENBACH: Daddy's got a treat!
He pushes the door open, makes a 'come on' gesture with his head and goes inside.
Janice looks very scared. Zack smiles.
JANICE: No no no. We are so not going in there. Dawn, tell them!
Dawn looks nervously toward the door.
Cut to inside. Hands playing with a toy robot that spins around and flashes lights and makes noise.
We see Justin, Janice, and Dawn sitting on the sofa while Mr. Kaltenbach does something in the background. The three kids look over at Zack playing with the toy.
ZACK: Dude, where'd you get the cool toys?
KALTENBACH: Used to design 'em back in '58. (walks toward them) Nothing would give me more pleasure ... than to see a child's face... (Dawn and Janice exchanging an unhappy look) light up when he'd open one of mine ... on a Christmas or a birthday. I was good. Jeepers, I was the best.
He continues walking slowly toward Zack.
KALTENBACH: And then that thing happened. One little mistake ... and they took it all away from me, they... (takes the toy from Zack) they took my toys.
He turns to put the toy down, turns back. Shot of the three kids on the couch looking very fearfully at him.
KALTENBACH: (cheerfully) Time for the treats! Who wants to help Daddy in the kitchen? (to Dawn) How 'bout you, Sally?
JUSTIN: (gets up) Uh, Sally's not much for the cookin'. Why don't I give you a hand.
KALTENBACH: (nods) Hands are good. (moves toward the kitchen) Always use more hands. More hands.
Justin follows him toward the kitchen. Mr. Kaltenbach begins humming "Pop Goes The Weasel" again.
Zack sits on the sofa in Justin's vacated spot. He picks up a jack-in-the-box and begins turning its handle.
JANICE: Okay, I say we get the funk out of here before Satan Claus tries to stuff us up the chimney.
ZACK: What, and miss the big treat? That would break the old guy's little heart! Assuming it's still beating.
DAWN: She's right, we should just get Justin and go.
ZACK: (still turning the handle) Come on, the dude's a thousand years old. What's he gonna do, drown us in his drool cup?
The jack-in-the-box pops up. It has no head. Dawn looks at it nervously.
DAWN: Hey. Where's its head?
Cut to the kitchen. Mr. Kaltenbach carefully closes the door leading back to the living room. He turns and walks over to the kitchen island. We see Justin looking in the cabinets.
Mr. Kaltenbach goes over to the counter and we see a pan covered with aluminum foil. The large knife lies beside it. He picks up the knife.
Pan up to his face as he looks at the knife. Then we see Justin is behind him, wearing vampire face. Justin puts his hand on Mr. Kaltenbach's shoulder.
Mr. Kaltenbach turns, sees Justin's face and reacts with horror.
Open on the same scene. Justin bends down and bites Mr. Kaltenbach. The old man gasps and chokes as Justin feeds on him. As they sink toward the floor, Mr. Kaltenbach's hand holding the knife knocks over the foil-covered pan. We see that it's a pan of rice krispy treats, decorated with little candy pumpkins.
Cut to the living room. The noise of the pan falling makes the other three teens jump up in alarm.
JANICE: What the hell was that?
Close shot of the pan of rice krispy treats lying on top of the body.
Dawn runs toward the kitchen, stops when she sees the closed door. She walks slowly toward it. Janice and Zack hover in the background.
DAWN: (softly) Justin?
Dawn reaches out to open the door, jumps back with a yelp of surprise as it pops open before she touches it. Justin comes out, wearing his human face, smiling.
JUSTIN: Let's go.
DAWN: Wh-what happened?
JUSTIN: I swiped his wallet when he wasn't looking. Come on!
They run for the door.
Cut to the front steps. Dawn and Janice burst out.
DAWN: (scared) Oh my god. (smiling) Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god!
The girls run off down the street. The boys come out behind them, walking more slowly.
JUSTIN: (holds his stomach) Dude, that guy was rank.
ZACK: Bet a spritz of Dawn would wash that right out. So what do you think? Lunchables? Or should we go all the way and turn 'em?
They exchange a look.
Cut to Xander and Anya in the Summers house.
ANYA: So I was thinking maybe a June wedding. But then I remembered that they always had the highest percentage of calls for vengeance.
We see that Xander and Anya are standing in front of the couch, talking to Giles and Buffy who are sitting on the couch.
ANYA: So now I'm leaning towards as soon as damn possible. I mean, mortal life being so short, we gotta get in as much marital bliss as we can before we wither and die.
Xander nods, but he looks more and more nervous.
ANYA: I mean, there's just so much to consider, though, I mean, planning the wedding, and, and new cars, house and babies. You *have* to plan for babies, or they just run roughshod over your entire existence.
XANDER: (nervously) Yeah, y...you gotta know what to call 'em before they hit college.
GILES: Ah. Rupert is an exceptionally strong name.
ANYA: (laughs) Ha ha ha! Yeah, if we want our progeny to eat paste and have their lunch money stolen.
Buffy snickers a little. Giles looks insulted.
Anya stops laughing, clears her throat. Giles gives Buffy a look.
BUFFY: (to Giles) Look, all that matters is that they're happy. (to Anya) Everything else is thick gravy goodness.
ANYA: I know.
Xander's smile looks a little glazed.
ANYA: I mean, I am the luckiest ex-demon in the world. I mean, to be able to find the one person in all dimensions that I was meant to be with, and have everything work out exactly as I dreamed. (Xander smiles at her) I mean, how often does the universe allow that to happen?
Buffy looks a little pensive.
Cut to: exterior shot of the Summers house. The door opens revealing Xander, who holds it open for Buffy, then follows her out onto the front porch. Xander takes a deep breath, fans himself with his pirate hat.
XANDER: Air. Sweet mother oxygen.
They walk toward the edge of the porch.
BUFFY: You okay?
XANDER: Yeah. I just ... it's just, I didn't think it would be so much. (they sit on the railing)
BUFFY: But this is good. I mean, this is ... love and celebration and moving forward. Anya's right. This is the way life's supposed to work out.
XANDER: (nods) Right. Deep pools of ooey delight. I'm wallowing, not drowning.
BUFFY: Definite wallow action.
XANDER: Okay. (gets up) So, once more into the breach?
BUFFY: Oh. I think my breaches are wearing a little thin. (gets up) I'm gonna take Spike up on that offer to patrol. Gotta be something out there cruisin' for a smackdown.
They walk back toward the door. Buffy goes down the stairs and Xander, taking a moment to compose himself, opens the door and goes back inside.
Cut to Justin and Dawn walking down the street together.
JUSTIN: So you're like, what, a sophomore?
DAWN: (laughs) I wish.
JUSTIN: Uhhh, freshman.
DAWN: Yep, way down there at the bottom of the rung. Actually? Kinda under those little rubber feet they use to keep the ladder steady.
JUSTIN: Hey, those are important. (hands her some money) Here. The spoils of war. You earned it.
DAWN: (smiles) I did?
JUSTIN: Yeah, for keepin' me steady.
They smile at each other.
JUSTIN: And so begins your life of crime.
DAWN: Hmm. You're a little late. I steal all the time.
JUSTIN: (skeptical) Really.
DAWN: Totally. I haven't paid for lipstick since ... forever.
JUSTIN: Oh, be still my heart, cute *and* bad.
DAWN: Yeah, (hugs herself) bad to the bone.
JUSTIN: More like frozen! Here.
He takes off his Sunnydale High School jacket and puts it around Dawn's shoulders.
JUSTIN: My pleasure, Miss Summers.
They gaze into each other's eyes. Then Janice appears behind them.
JANICE: Hey. Where's Zack?
JUSTIN: (a little annoyed) He went to get the car.
DAWN: (delighted) You guys got a car?
Cut to Zack pulling a woman out of her car. The woman drops to the pavement, unconscious, as Zack gets into the driver's seat.
ZACK: Thanks for the ride!
The tires squeal as he drives off.
Cut to Buffy walking down the street surrounded by kids in costume.
She pauses, watches a couple walking with arms around each other. Continues walking.
An ambulance goes by, siren wailing. Buffy stop walking, frowns.
Cut to Buffy walking up to the crime scene. A small crowd has gathered. Buffy sees paramedics loading the woman driver onto a gurney.
PARAMEDIC 1: I'm losing her pulse.
PARAMEDIC 2: Let's get her in!
Buffy watches with concern.
Close-up on the woman's neck. Vampire bites clearly visible.
Buffy scowls, hurries away.
Cut to the Summers kitchen. The phone rings. Giles answers it.
GILES: Summers residence. ... Oh, (smiles) Mrs. Penshaw, yes, uh ... (stops smiling) No, Dawn said she was staying the night at your house. Well, ye-yes, I realize that now, but I don't believe that you called to check -- all right, le-let's just, um, if I, if I hear anything I'll let you know.
He hangs up.
Cut to the living room. Tara sits on the sofa watching as Xander, Anya, and Willow dance to music. Tara looks a little forlorn.
Giles comes in, walks over to the stereo and turns off the music.
WILLOW: Hey, we were just gettin' our dance on.
GILES: That was Janice's mother on the telephone. Apparently Janice said that she was staying here tonight.
XANDER: Ahh, they're dipping into the classics. You gotta respect that.
GILES: Is Buffy still outside? (going toward the door)
XANDER: Uh, no, no, she was gettin' antsy, she went to find Spike to patrol.
GILES: Well, it's nice to be kept in the loop. Um ... Xander, Anya, you stay here in case Mrs. Penshaw calls again. Willow, Tara, you check downtown. (going toward the door) I'll, uh, swing by Spike's, see if I can catch Buffy.
Giles grabs his jacket and exits.
Cut to a dark part of the forest. The car is parked. The back door opens and Janice gets out, giggling as Zack is groping her. He gets out after her.
ZACK: (into the car) Don't do nothing I would, dude.
Zack shuts the door as Janice grabs him by the front of his shirt and kisses him.
JANICE: You're it.
She turns and runs into the forest.
ZACK: I love it when they run.
He morphs into vamp face and runs after her.
Cut to inside the car. Dawn and Justin sit. She still wears his jacket.
DAWN: Ooh. It's cold. You okay? You want this back?
JUSTIN: Nah. Cold doesn't really bother me.
DAWN: (smiles) What are you, Superman?
JUSTIN: No, but ... I do have a few special powers.
He leans over as if to kiss her.
DAWN: (nervously) Hey ... um ... does this work? (twisting the radio dial)
JUSTIN: You gotta ... turn the ignition.
He turns the key and the radio starts up. Dawn smiles, nods. Justin watches her with a smile.
DAWN: I love this one.
JUSTIN: (brushes hair back from her face) Another thing we have in common.
Dawn doesn't reply, glances at him and then away, looking very nervous.
JUSTIN: You're shaking.
DAWN: It's cold.
JUSTIN: You ... wanna go?
DAWN: N-no. It's just, um ... what do you expect-
JUSTIN: Shhh. I just wanna taste you.
He leans toward her again. She leans in to him and they kiss.
Open on the same scene. Dawn and Justin continue kissing for a moment, then Dawn pulls back a little, looking dazed.
DAWN: Shiver me timbers.
DAWN: Um ... nothing. Just ... wow.
JUSTIN: Oh, my god. That was your first.
DAWN: What? No.
JUSTIN: It was! That was your first kiss.
DAWN: (nervous laugh) I've been kissed before. I, I kiss all the time. Not that I'm a kiss slut. Just, you know, with, with the lips and, and the pressing together and stuff? Big expert here.
Justin just looks at her, with a little grin.
DAWN: Okay, okay, it was my first kiss. (upset) I know, I know, I suck, my ... my lips are dry and my tongue's all horrible and sticky and I'm pretty sure I drooled on you ... so just please tell me how awful it was.
Justin pulls her toward him and kisses her again briefly. She looks surprised.
JUSTIN: It was perfect.
They resume kissing.
Cut to the Bronze. A band is on stage performing. Various people in Halloween costumes are dancing.
Pan to the door. Willow and Tara enter. They see a couple dancing close together, dressed as Luke Skywalker and Princess Leia.
WILLOW: Do they know they're brother and sister?
TARA: (yelling over the music) Do you think she's here?
WILLOW: (yelling) What?
TARA: Do you think Dawn might have come here?
WILLOW: It's where I'd be if I were fifteen and on the lam.
They begin to walk around.
WILLOW: Well, not me at fifteen, 'cause, hello, spaz.
WILLOW: Yeah. Hard to believe such a hot mama-yama came from humble, geek-infested roots?
They begin climbing the stairs to the balcony.
TARA: Infested roots, trying to turn me on?
WILLOW: (smiles) I have to try now?
They kiss and continue walking up the stairs. They reach the top.
WILLOW: Come on, let's look over here.
TARA: Do you see her?
WILLOW: No, there's too many people.
TARA: Maybe we can have security-
WILLOW: No, that'll take too long.
They climb another partial set of stairs to a second balcony level. Willow goes over to the railing and looks down on the people dancing.
WILLOW: One among many, many fade to one-
TARA: (grabs her hand) What are you doing? Will?
WILLOW: I'm just gonna clear the crowd.
WILLOW: I'll just shift everyone who isn't a fifteen-year-old girl into an alternate dimension. (smiling)
TARA: (horrified) What?
WILLOW: No, it'll be for like a fraction of a second. They won't even notice.
TARA: Will, no, you can't!
TARA: Well, what if something went wrong?
WILLOW: Well, it won't!
TARA: But w-what would Giles say?
WILLOW: (toward the crowd) Sukut!
The crowd noises all go away, leaving it silent, although the people continue to dance and the band keeps playing like nothing's wrong.
WILLOW: (to Tara) Are you taking his side now?
TARA: This isn't about sides.
WILLOW: You two have been talking about me behind my back.
TARA: No! God.
WILLOW: You know how that makes me feel?
TARA: Willow, you are using too much magic. What do you want me to do, just, just sit back and keep my mouth shut?
WILLOW: Well, that'd be a good start.
Tara looks shocked.
TARA: If I didn't love you so damn much I would!
Tara turns and storms away.
The crowd noises resume.
Willow stands there, not following after Tara.
Cut back to the car. Dawn and Justin still kissing. It continues for a few moments.
DAWN: Ow! (pulls back)
DAWN: It's okay. Long as it's not bleeding.
They resume kissing. Then Dawn pulls back again.
DAWN: Justin ... could we...
JUSTIN: It's just ... (looking at her) God, you are so beautiful.
Dawn smiles. They resume kissing.
Dawn's hand is on Justin's arm. It moves up his arm across his shoulder, across his neck, to rest on his cheek. We see that he's now in vampire face.
Dawn realizes it and her eyes widen.
Cut to Spike's crypt. Buffy bursts in holding her stake.
BUFFY: Get your gear together. We need to...
She stops as she realizes Spike is nowhere to be seen. The TV is on, playing a black-and-white horror movie.
Buffy looks around.
SPIKE: (OS) You know...
Buffy jumps, turns to find him right behind her.
SPIKE: ...in civilized cultures, that's called trespassing.
BUFFY: Good thing you're uncivilized. We got trouble.
SPIKE: Giles found you?
BUFFY: (frowns) Giles? No. Was he looking for me?
SPIKE: Yeah, it's Dawn.
BUFFY: Dawn? (alarmed) Why, what happened?
SPIKE: No, it's okay, Giles was by here earlier looking for you. Dawn and her little friend pulled a Houdini. Up to a bit of candy-corn mischief, I suspect.
BUFFY: Wait, she's out there running around by herself?
SPIKE: Yeah, kids these days, eh?
Buffy walks quickly past him.
SPIKE: I did a sweep of the tunnels, Giles is poking about the cemetery.
BUFFY: We have to find her.
Buffy opens a coffin(?) by the wall.
SPIKE: I don't think she's in there.
Buffy takes out some weapons, tosses Spike a crossbow. He catches it, frowns a little.
Cut to the cemetery. It's dark and foggy. Giles walks around with a flashlight, shining it around, looking around.
GILES: Mist ... cemetery ... Halloween. Should end well.
He trips on something, falls on his face out of the shot. The camera stays where it is. After a moment Giles reappears in the shot.
GILES: Bloody brilliant.
He composes himself and resumes looking around.
Sound of a girl screaming. Giles begins to run.
Cut to the forest. Giles runs among some trees, shines his flashlight on a vampire biting a girl.
The vampire lifts his head and growls. Giles pushes him away and he rolls down a short hill.
GILES: Dawn, are you all right?
Giles grabs the girl, who lifts her head to reveal that she's Janice.
JANICE: He bit me. That jerk bit me!
ZACK: Like you weren't asking for it.
Giles turns to see Zack behind him, still in game face.
GILES: I feel certain she wasn't.
ZACK: What do you know about it, grandpa?
Zack swings a punch at Giles, who ducks and tackles Zack around the middle.
GILES: Quite a bit actually.
They go down and roll down the hill, entangled together. Janice watches fearfully.
At the bottom of the hill Giles and Zack get up and trade blows. Zack does most of the punching, then kicks Giles and he goes down. From his knees, Giles blocks another punch and hits Zack in the stomach, then gets up and kicks him. Zack flies backward and winds up against a tree.
Zack looks down to see a branch sticking out of his body.
ZACK: Dude, that sucks.
GILES: (toward Janice) Dawn. Where's Dawn?
Janice makes a helpless "I don't know" gesture, holding her neck with one hand.
Cut to the car. Dawn scrambles out through her door.
DAWN: Get off me!
JUSTIN: Dawn, wait! Wait!
Dawn runs off. Justin climbs out and runs after her.
He catches up with her, stops her. He's still in game face.
JUSTIN: I thought we could, you know, like hang out or something.
DAWN: Hang out?
JUSTIN: Yeah. I mean ... you're not like other girls. You're different. There's something special about you. I knew it the first time I saw you.
Dawn looks like she wants to believe him.
JUSTIN: I just wanna be close to you.
He puts his hand to her face. Dawn gasps and jerks away.
JUSTIN: Shh. It's okay. It'll only hurt for a second.
Dawn closes her eyes as he bends over to bite her.
GILES: (OS) I bet you say that to all the girls.
Giles comes around a tree.
Dawn turns to see Giles behind her. Justin grabs her by the throat.
GILES: (walks forward) Now, you have a choice, son. We can do this the easy way, or we can do this the ha-
Giles stops as a bright light suddenly shines on him, blinding him. He puts up a hand to shield it, looks around.
Sounds of car doors opening.
We see that there are a number of cars parked in a circle around the clearing, all with their lights pointing inward. Vampires get out of all the cars and begin to advance on Giles. He looks around nervously. Then looks over at Justin who still holds Dawn by the throat.
JUSTIN: (smirking) What were my choices again?
Open on the same scene. Giles faces off with Justin and Dawn as the other vampires advance.
A hand clamps onto Giles's shoulder and he jumps, looks over to see it's Spike.
SPIKE: So. This a private game, or, uh, can anyone join in?
Buffy runs up.
BUFFY: Dawn, are you...
Buffy pauses, stares at the scene.
Justin lets go of Dawn, who moves a foot or two away from him.
BUFFY: (outraged) Were you parking?! With a vamp?
DAWN: I-I didn't know he was dead!
JUSTIN: Living dead.
DAWN: Shut up!
BUFFY: How could you not know?
DAWN: I just met him!
BUFFY: Oh! Oh, so you were parking in the woods with a boy you just met.
JUSTIN: We've seen each other at parties.
BUFFY: Shut up. (to Dawn) I don't believe you!
Spike looks around with a frown.
DAWN: Oh, like you've never fallen for a vampire?
BUFFY: That was different.
DAWN: It always is when it's you.
VAMP 1: Uh, excuse me! Can we fight now?
BUFFY: Hey, didn't anyone come here to just make out?
One guy and girl in the back, not vampires, raise their hands.
BUFFY: Aw, that's sweet. You run.
The guy and girl do so.
BUFFY: (to Vamp 1) You scream.
Buffy, Spike, and Giles take off in different directions.
Spike pursues the vamp who complained. The vamp kicks him and Spike punches him a few times.
Giles stands by one of the cars and hits one vamp, gets kicked in the chest by another and then she pins him against the car
VAMP 2: Die, slayer!
Vamp 2 rushes at Buffy. She simply steps back and stakes him as he runs past her.
JUSTIN: (to Dawn) Your sister's the slayer? I totally get it! I knew there was something about you.
Dawn makes an angry face, knees him in the groin and runs off.
Giles continues to have difficulties with two female vamps. One is on his back and he manages to throw her onto the other.
Buffy throws him a stake. He catches it, stakes one vamp, ducks a punch and stakes the second.
Giles pauses, looks around. Suddenly another vamp appears and tackles him, both landing on the car's roof and sliding off the other end.
Spike continues trading blows with the first vamp. Spike takes a hit and goes down.
VAMP 1: What is your malfunction, man?!
Spike makes an angry face, gets up and shoves the vamp down into the dirt.
SPIKE: It's Halloween, you nit! We take the night off. Those are the rules.
VAMP 1: (gets up) Me and mine don't follow no stinkin' rules! We're rebels!
He takes a swing at Spike, who blocks it, head-butts him, and then kicks him in the chest. The vamp slams back against a tree trunk and slides down it to the ground.
SPIKE: No. I'm a rebel. You're an idiot.
Spike pulls out his crossbow and shoots the vamp. Vamp 1 dusts.
Spike begins reloading the crossbow.
SPIKE: Give the lot of us a bad name.
He finishes reloading, looks up just as another vamp tackles him. The crossbow goes off accidentally, the arrow flying off into the woods as Spike and the vampire hit the ground.
Buffy continues fighting another vamp. They trade blows and then he picks her up and slams her onto the hood of a car. Buffy rolls aside as he punches. His fist goes through the metal. While he struggles to pull it out, Buffy kicks him, flips up to stand on the car. The vamp grabs for her and she jumps out of the way. He grabs both her legs and she falls on her butt on the car, gets one leg free and kicks him away.
The vamp comes back, punches Buffy, pins her against the car and pulls the antenna loose from the car. He tries to garrote her with it but she pushes him away, uses the side of the car to flip around behind him, tries to garrote him in return. He breaks free and they trade some more punches and kicks. The vamp rushes Buffy and she opens the car door to block him. He punches at her and his fist shatters the car window. He swings at Buffy and she grabs him, pulls him through the car window to the other side, kicks him back and slams the car door on his head. He dusts.
Buffy turns and walks off.
Cut to Dawn walking slowly through the forest. She hears a noise and turns, nervous. She continues to walk backward, looking around, very scared.
Justin suddenly appears behind her.
JUSTIN: Trick or treat.
Dawn screams, runs off, but Justin grabs her by the back of her (his) jacket and pulls her to the ground. He lands on top of her, straddling her, holding her hands down.
JUSTIN: Give me something good to eat.
DAWN: I thought you really liked me.
He lets go of her hands and sits up a little, still straddling her.
JUSTIN: I do. And you like me too.
DAWN: (sighs, nods) I do.
Justin leans down to bite her. Dawn looks at the sky.
Suddenly he stops, gasps, and turns to dust. We see the stake in Dawn's hand.
She lies there looking upset.
Cut to the Summers house. Xander and Anya are preparing to leave.
BUFFY: Sorry about the party.
XANDER: Aah, don't worry about it.
ANYA: It gave me more time to plan the bridal shower. Where do we order obscenely muscular male strippers?
ANYA: Well, I'm kidding, geez.
Xander exits. Anya mouths at Buffy, "we'll talk," and exits too.
Spike comes up behind Buffy.
SPIKE: Guess I should bugger off. Something about big bads not venturing far from their crypts on Halloween.
BUFFY: Good fight.
Spike nods at her, exits. Buffy watches him go as Willow comes up behind her.
WILLOW: So, uh, big monster mashing? Sorry we missed it.
Tara comes up to them too, walks past Willow to stand beside Buffy.
TARA: As long as Dawn's all right.
WILLOW: Yeah, that's what's-
TARA: (to Buffy) I, I think I'm gonna turn in. Good night.
Tara goes up the stairs. Willow looks concerned.
WILLOW: Tara ... Tara.
Willow follows Tara. Buffy watches them go. In background we can see Dawn sitting by herself in the dining room.
Giles comes up and watches Willow and Tara go too. He's holding an ice-pack to his mouth.
BUFFY: How's your face?
GILES: (takes the icepack away from his face) Oh, still ruggedly handsome. 'Grandpa,' indeed. (puts the ice back) Ow.
BUFFY: (looking toward Dawn) She's taking it pretty hard.
GILES: Well, it's not surprising. Still, we can't ignore this kind of behavior. Something needs to be done before it spins out of control.
BUFFY: (nods) You're right. I'm glad you're here to take care of it. Don't ... be too hard on her, okay?
Buffy goes up the stairs. Giles stares after her in surprise. Then he turns and goes reluctantly into the dining room, goes over to Dawn, takes the ice-pack off his face again.
GILES: We need to have a conversation.
DAWN: (quietly) This the part where you tell me you're not angry ... just disappointed? (looks anxiously at him)
GILES: Pretty much. (tosses the ice-pack onto the table) Except for the bit about not being angry.
Dawn looks scared.
Cut to Willow and Tara's room.
WILLOW: I, I'm sorry, okay?
TARA: It's not that easy.
We see Tara taking throw-pillows off the bed. Both she and Willow wear pajamas.
WILLOW: Well, what do you want me to do? Reverse time and take it back? (small laugh) 'Cause I could probably-
Tara gives her a grim look.
WILLOW: Joke. I don't think I could really-
TARA: (angrily) You know what, can, can we not do this now? I'm tired. (gets into bed)
WILLOW: Okay. Let's just forget it ever happened.
Willow goes over to a side table, picks up a small piece of herb with a couple of flowers on it. She holds it in her palm.
WILLOW: (softly) Forget.
A flash of light moves across the herb, leaving it dead and wilted.
Willow turns off the light, goes over to the bed and turns off another light, gets into bed.
Tara smiles, giggles.
TARA: Ooh, your feet are cold.
WILLOW: Better warm me up.
Tara snuggles up to Willow.
TARA: This is how every day should always end ... and start. And all the stuff in the middle. (kisses Willow's cheek)
WILLOW: (smiles) So, uh ... you're not mad?
TARA: 'Bout what?
Willow smiles to herself and closes her eyes.
Executive Producers: Joss Whedon and Marti Noxon.