Buffy Episode #92: "Crush" Transcript

Written by David Fury

Transcribed by Joan the English Chick (pisces@englishchick.com).
Transcriber's Notes:


Teaser

GILES VOICEOVER: Previously on Buffy the Vampire Slayer...
Spike in "Into the Woods"
SPIKE: Look at you. All afraid I'm hot for your honey.
RILEY: Because you are.
Dawn listening to Spike read.
SPIKE: They had to be certain the Slayer would protect it with her life. So they sent the key to her ... in the form of a sister.
Dawn in the hospital talking to Ben.
DAWN: I'm not real.
BEN: You're the key. Go. Before she finds you, don't- she's here!
Ben morphing into Glory.
DAWN: Ben. He was here, he was trying to help me. He might have left before Glory came. I can't remember.

Episode begins: Loud rock music. Fade in on a large sign reading "Grand Opening" with a piece of paper stuck in between the words reading "RE" (as in, Grand Re-Opening). Pan across to a neon sign holding the Bronze's new logo: the word Bronze in pink in a futuristic script.

Cut to inside the Bronze, which has been extensively remodeled following its demolition by Olaf in "Triangle." The basic layout is the same but the fixtures and furniture have a new style, less gothic/industrial and more modern. It is filled with people dancing, talking, etc. We can see Willow/Tara and Xander/Anya dancing. The group Summercamp is onstage performing their song "Play It By Ear."

I'm amused by the overwhelming choices
I guess the hardest part is knowing when to stop
I'm confused and I think I'm hearing voices
Things are happening so fast
Do I save the best for last?

Closer shot of Xander and Anya dancing. Pan across them to Willow and Tara dancing. All smiling. Pan over to Buffy sitting by a low round table by herself, watching the dancers, looking pensive.

SPIKE: (OS) Bleedin' crime, is what it is.

Buffy looks up as Spike sits in the chair beside her. Instead of his usual attire he wears khaki pants, a blue/gray button-down shirt open over a black t-shirt, and a shiny brown leather jacket.

SPIKE: Jackin' up the bar price to pay for fixin' up this sinkhole. Not my fault insurance doesn't cover act of troll.
BUFFY: Gee, maybe it's time you found a new place to patronize.
SPIKE: (sits back) I've half a mind to! Especially since the flowering onion got remodeled off the sodding menu. (leans forward) 'S the only thing this place had going for it.
BUFFY: (frowns) What are you doing?
SPIKE: (frowns) Wha, what do you mean what am ... I ...
BUFFY: Here? At this table? Talking to me. Like we're some kind of talking buddies.
SPIKE: Well, I saw you ... sitting here alone. Thought, I don't know, you could, maybe do with a bit of, uh, you know, company.

Buffy raises her eyebrows at him. Spike frowns.

SPIKE: Suit yourself!

He gets up. Focus on Buffy looking back over at the dance floor.

SPIKE: (OS) Although...

He sits back down as Buffy rolls her eyes.

SPIKE: It's just, we took on that Glory chippie together, I was right there with you, fightin' the fight.
BUFFY: Actually, you were sleeping the sleep of the knocked unconscious.
SPIKE: Still, points for intent. (Buffy looks doubtful) You'd think that would be enough to cut me a sliver of slack. Earn a little consideration, respect.
XANDER: (OS) Hey, uh, Evil Dead, you're in my seat.

We see Xander and Anya standing behind Spike. He turns his head to look at them, sighs.

SPIKE: Bugger it.

He reaches for his beer bottle, knocks it over accidentally, grabs it and gets up. Buffy watches him go in some confusion as Xander and Anya sit.

ANYA: Xander, I think you may have hurt his feelings.
XANDER: And you should never hurt the feelings of a brutal killer. (ponders) You know, that's, uh, that's actually some pretty good advice.

Buffy doesn't reply. Willow and Tara come over and sit.

XANDER: So, who's up for some more liquid refreshments? I'm buying, for I am payday man.
WILLOW: (opening a bottle of aspirin) I could use a water.
XANDER: (raises a hand dismissively) Water poses no challenge for payday man, for I have... (pauses, looks dismayed)

Shot of a small tray lying on the table, with just a few coins on it.
XANDER: (OS) Hey, where's my change?

Buffy looks at the tray, scowls, glances over at the bar. Xander looks too.

Shot of Spike at the bar, buying another beer.

XANDER: Spike, you diabolical fiend.

Xander gets up and walks toward Spike. Buffy looks at Tara comforting Willow.

BUFFY: Poor Will. Still getting those headaches?
WILLOW: Fewer and further between, but...yep, they're still exercising their visitation rights.
TARA: Honey, in case you didn't hear me the first six thousand times, no more teleportation spells.
WILLOW: Well, it's just we have squat in the way of Glory-fighting arsenal, and ... another run-in with her and my headaches and nosebleeds are gonna be the least of our problems.
BUFFY: You know what? This is the first R-'n'-R I've had in weeks. How about we go one night without saying the name Glory.

Everyone nods.

TARA: I'm down with that. Let's just call "she who will not be named" another name. Let's just call her-
BUFFY: Ben!

Shot of Ben sitting on a sofa across the room, with another guy.
TARA: (OS) For example.
BUFFY: I'll be right back.

Buffy gets up and the other three girls watch her walk over to Ben.

BUFFY: Ben! Hey!
BEN: Buffy, hi.
BUFFY: I barely recognized you without your hospital scrubs.

The guy next to Ben gets up and leaves, and Buffy sits in his place.

BEN: Oh, you'd be surprised the extent of my wardrobe.
BUFFY: Really?
BEN: I actually have entire outfits that aren't blue pajamas.
BUFFY: (laughs) Um, my sister ... uh, told me what happened at the hospital before I got there.
BEN: (wary) Uh huh.
BUFFY: And, uh, I just wanted to say ... thanks. (Ben looks confused) For looking after her?
BEN: (sighs, smiles) That's okay. I'm glad Dawn's all right.

Cut to Spike and Xander by the bar.
XANDER: The point is, I work hard for that money.
SPIKE: And you're saying I didn't?
XANDER: You stole it.
SPIKE: And you're making it into very hard work!
XANDER: Listen, bleach boy, I don't have a chip in my head. I can do far more damage to you than you can ever do to me.

Spike isn't listening, as he has noticed Buffy chatting with Ben and is watching them intently.

SPIKE: (distracted, still watching Buffy) Yeah? Like you could ever hurt me.

Cut to: train station. A porter leans against a fence reading a Spiderman comic as a train approaches, the horn blowing. It comes to a stop.

Lingering shot of the stair in the doorway of the train.

Shot of the porter straightening up, waiting for the passengers to start coming out.

Another shot of the doorway. No one appears.

The porter frowns, walks forward to the door of the train and calls inside.

PORTER: Sunnydale Station! Last stop this line.

Nothing. He looks around. The platform is empty.

Cut to the porter entering one of the train cars. He walks to the first row of seats, stops and looks shocked.

Shot of a male passenger lying slumped over with blood on his neck and on the pillow behind his head.

Shot of the porter looking shocked.

Short of a female passenger also lying slumped over dead and bloody.

The porter walks farther into the train and we see more dead passengers in the seats.

Shot of another female passenger with her arm stretched out into the aisle, covered with blood from a wound on the wrist.

The porter breathes heavily. Sound of footsteps. He turns and sees something.

PORTER: Oh god! Oh please! Help me! Somebody please! Help me!

He runs back the way he came.

Cut to exterior shot of the train's doorway. The porter appears still screaming "Help me!" Before he can make his way down the stairs, something grabs him from behind and drags him back into the train. We hear him screaming.

Wolf howl. Opening credits.

Guest starring Mercedes McNab, Charlie Weber, Amber Benson as Tara, Juliet Landau as Drusilla, and Kristine Sutherland as Joyce Summers. Written by David Fury, directed by Daniel Attias.


Act I

Open on exterior shot of the Summers home, night. Sound of a door closing.
Cut to inside. Giles, Joyce, and Dawn are sitting in the living room. Joyce and Giles have books; Dawn sits on the floor watching television.
JOYCE: (looking toward the door) Buffy?

Buffy enters.

BUFFY: I'm back by popular demand.
GILES: Did you have a nice time?
BUFFY: (ponders, sits) You know, I think I did. Much-needed fun, apart from Willow's headaches and Spike's cameo appearance.
DAWN: Spike was there?
BUFFY: Unfortunately.

Joyce comes forward to sit beside Buffy.

JOYCE: Well, I'm relieved that you're home. Because to be honest, I wasn't feeling all that safe with you gone.

Shot of Giles sipping tea, raising his eyebrows in an injured manner.

Buffy looks meaningfully from her mother to Giles and back.

JOYCE: (quickly) At first. And then I, um, remembered that, um, Rupert was here and I felt much, much safer.
GILES: (puts down book, gets up) Yes, well, thank you for the little backpedal, but uh, I'm forced to agree that I'm ... barely an adequate substitute for a Slayer in the house. (moves toward the door) Good night.
JOYCE: Good night.

Buffy gets up and follows Giles to the hallway where he begins putting on his coat.

BUFFY: So how is Dawn?
GILES: She's, uh, she's coping very well. Extremely well, really, considering the extraordinary circumstances of her origin.
BUFFY: Then lemme ask you something. Um, we've been going easy on her the last week ... letting things slide?
GILES: Oh, I don't think that's at all wise.
BUFFY: You don't?
GILES: No, the best thing you can do now is behave exactly as you always have. Any special treatment at this stage is likely to undermine Dawn's sense of normality.
BUFFY: You think so?
GILES: Absolutely.
BUFFY: (nods) Thanks. (turns around and yells sharply) Dawn!!

Dawn jumps up from the floor.

DAWN: What?!
BUFFY: What did I tell you about borrowing my clothing?
DAWN: I didn't take your clothes.
BUFFY: Bull!
DAWN: I never touched your stuff.
BUFFY: Really. Then what happened to my blue cashmere sweater?

Cut to Spike sitting in his crypt, fondling Buffy's blue cashmere sweater.
HARMONY: (OS) Spikey...

Spike quickly hides the sweater behind him and turns in his chair. We see Harmony wearing a silk negligee.
HARMONY: Aren't you coming to bed?
SPIKE: I'm not tired.
HARMONY: Me neither.

She comes forward and slides onto Spike's lap, giving him an excellent view of her cleavage. He turns his head aside, looking annoyed.

HARMONY: Don't you wanna come in and ... tire me out?
SPIKE: Harm ... (she kisses his ear) really not in the mood right now.
HARMONY: (annoyed) You're never in the mood! (kisses his ear again) We could do something different tonight.
SPIKE: Like what, you stop yammering for two seconds?
HARMONY: (caressing his face) Well, we could ... I don't know ... maybe play a game?
Spike looks at her, thoughtful.

Cut to: Harmony jumping out of the shadows, wearing Buffy's blue sweater and a pair of tight brown leather pants, holding a stake. She stalks dramatically around the crypt.
HARMONY: Oh, I'm gonna stake you! (looks around) I'm coming after you, you bad, evil vampire, (gestures with the stake) and I'm gonna slay you! (pauses and thinks for a moment) I'm sneaking up, and I'm going to stake you so much with my slaying powers that I have because I'm the chosen-

She shrieks as Spike, shirtless, lunges into the shot and grabs her around the waist, growling, pulling her to the ground. The camera doesn't follow them down but remains focused on the darkened crypt.
HARMONY: (OS) Oh, Spike!

Cut to: exterior UC Sunnydale building, day.
WILLOW VOICEOVER: I just don't see why he couldn't end up with Esmerelda.

Cut to inside. Tara, Buffy, and Willow are walking along the hallways.

WILLOW: They could have the wedding right there. Beneath the very bell-tower where he labored thanklessly for all those years.
TARA: No, see, it can't, it can't end like that, 'cause all of Quasimodo's actions were selfishly motivated. He had no moral compass, no understanding of right. Everything he did, he did out of love for a woman who would never be able to love him back. (They come to a vending machine and stop walking. Tara digs in her purse. Willow looks in hers as well) Also, you can tell it's not gonna have a happy ending when the main guy's all bumpy.

Willow takes some money out of her purse and hands it to Tara, who smiles and turns to the vending machine.

WILLOW: What did you think, Buffy?
BUFFY: The test isn't till tomorrow, right? (shrugs) I don't have an opinion till then.
WILLOW: But, you read it, right?
BUFFY: Kinda not. I rented the movie.
TARA: (takes her snack out of machine) Oh, with, um, with Charles Laughton?
BUFFY: I don't know. Was he one of the singing gargoyles?
WILLOW: Oh boy. (They all begin to walk off)
BUFFY: What, I, I'm kidding! (notices a guy reading a newspaper) You're done with this? (grabs the paper from him)
GUY: Yeah, hi, uh, kind of reading that?

Buffy ignores him, taking the paper over to Willow and Tara, staring at the front page.

Shot of front page of the Sunnydale Press reading: "METROTRAIN MURDER. Six Found Murdered on Train at Sunnydale Station."

BUFFY: "Six found murdered on train at Sunnydale Station."
TARA: Glory?
BUFFY: (shakes her head) "Unconfirmed reports of severe trauma to the throats of one or more of the victims." (lowers the paper) Survey says ... vampire.

Cut to: Spike climbing up some stairs, emerging in his crypt. A woman is watching him; we only see her from the back. Spike reaches the top of the stairs, sees her and gasps in surprise.
SPIKE: Oh, it's you. (frowns) What are you doing here lurking about?

He bends over to slide a trapdoor cover over the hole in the floor that he just emerged from. We see the visitor is Dawn.

DAWN: I'm not lurking. I'm looking. What are you doing?
SPIKE: (nervous) Nothing.
DAWN: So is that how you get around town in the daytime? I mean, does that lead into the sewers or something? Can you show me?
SPIKE: No. (moves forward) Why are you- (pauses, sighs) Does Buffy know you're here? (takes out a cigarette, lights it)
DAWN: Yeah, right. (turns and walks a little bit away) 'Cause nothing would make her happier than to find out I'm hanging out after school in the vampire's lair. Especially yours.
SPIKE: (snaps off his lighter in annoyance) Go home then.
DAWN: I don't feel like it right now.
SPIKE: Well, you can't bloody well stay here.
DAWN: Why not?
SPIKE: Because, I've got things to do.

Dawn folds her arms over her chest, looking skeptical. Spike approaches her.

SPIKE: Bad, evil things! (Dawn tries to stifle a grin) That are not for a child's eyes.
DAWN: (stops smiling) I'm not a child. (goes to lean against a pillar) I'm not even human. Not originally.
SPIKE: (sighs) Yeah, well, originally I was. I got over it. (Sits on the edge of a coffin) Doesn't seem to me it matters very much how you start out.
DAWN: That's smart. I get that. (pauses) I like how you talk to me like I can understand things. Everyone else is being all ... twitchy and secretive.
SPIKE: They're just trying to keep you safe, I expect.
DAWN: I feel safe with you.

Spike chokes on his cigarette smoke in horror. He begins to cough and jumps down from the casket. Dawn moves forward from the pillar in alarm.

SPIKE: Take that back!
DAWN: (quickly) I, I mean, you have that whole ... superpower thing, and ... you're just as tough as Buffy is, maybe tougher. (quieter) Buffy thinks so too.
SPIKE: She does?
DAWN: Well, she's always worried about what she's gonna do if you ever get that chip out of your head.
SPIKE: Is that right? So, um... (He sits back down on the coffin and Dawn leans back against the pillar) what else does Buffy say about me?

Cut to: Buffy entering the Summers house, day, holding an armful of books.
BUFFY: (calls) Hey!
JOYCE: (OS) Dawn?
BUFFY: No, it's me.

Buffy puts her books down, moves toward the living room. Joyce emerges from the kitchen.

JOYCE: Is Dawn with you?
BUFFY: Isn't she here?
JOYCE: No, she didn't come home from school today. (anxious) Oh Buffy, the news said something about people murdered-
BUFFY: It's not Glory, it has nothing to do with Dawn, I promise. Look, she probably - I'll find her.

She leaves.

Cut to: exterior, aerial shot of the graveyard, night.
DAWN VOICEOVER: And the lady just invited you in?

Cut to inside Spike's crypt. Spike and Dawn sit on the coffin, both cross-legged, facing each other, with a lantern lit between them. It's very dark.

SPIKE: Well, I had hubby by the throat, didn't I? Promised her he'd live if she gave me the invite.
DAWN: And did you? Let him live?
SPIKE: What do you think?
DAWN: (frowning) Huh.
SPIKE: Too much for you?
DAWN: (quickly) No! Keep going.
SPIKE: (softly) And I kill 'em. Right quick, the whole lot. (Dawn looks fascinated) But... (grinning) There's someone missing. Supposed to be ... this little girl. So I get real quiet, (looking at ceiling) and I hear this tiny noise coming from the coal bin. This little sigh. (looks at Dawn) So I listened harder, it's very, very quiet...

Dawn is hanging on every word.

Suddenly there's a loud noise of the crypt door banging open. Dawn jumps with a very startled gasp. Spike starts too, looks over her shoulder at the door.

SPIKE: Oh ... bloody hell.

Buffy comes rushing in.

BUFFY: Spike, I need your help, Dawn is- (Stops short when she sees Dawn) Here. (Spike gets down from the coffin)
DAWN: Spike was just telling a story, a-and he was just at this really cool part-
BUFFY: (to Spike) What the hell is this? What is she doing here?
DAWN: Just hanging out.
BUFFY: (raises eyebrows) Here?
DAWN: Can you please let him finish the story? Then you could do the lecture?

Buffy scowls, looks over at Spike.

BUFFY: Yeah. Okay. Let's hear the story that Spike is telling my little sister.
SPIKE: (nervous) Right. Yeah. (Shot of the two girls watching, Dawn interested, Buffy with her arms folded) So, uh, I knew the girl was in the coal bin. So I rip it open, very violent, haul her out of there ... (looks at Buffy) and then I give her to a good family in a nice home, (Buffy rolls her eyes) where they're never ever mean to her, and didn't lock her in the coal bin.
DAWN: What? That's so lame!
SPIKE: (to Buffy) I was just about to send her home. I knew you'd be frettin'.
BUFFY: Dawn, get your stuff, we're getting out of here.

Spike watches them leave, frowning.

Cut to Buffy and Dawn walking through the graveyard.
BUFFY: Why doesn't that register with you? Crypt plus vampire equals bad.
DAWN: 'Cause it was Spike!
BUFFY: Hanging out with Spike is not cool, Dawn, okay? It is, it is dangerous, and ... icky.

Dawn pauses, smiles bashfully.

DAWN: I don't think Spike's icky.
BUFFY: Yeah, well, think again, sister-

Buffy sees Dawn's expression and stops. Dawn tries to hide her face. Buffy folds her arms across her chest.

BUFFY: You have a crush on him.
DAWN: No I don't! It's just, (giggles) he's got cool hair, and he wears cool leather coats and stuff. (stops smiling) And he doesn't treat me like an alien.
BUFFY: He's a killer, Dawn. You cannot have a crush on something that is ... dead, and, and evil, and a vampire.
DAWN: Right, that's why you were never with Angel for three years.
BUFFY: (quietly) Angel's different. He has a soul.
DAWN: Spike has a chip. Same diff.
BUFFY: (turns away, gesturing angrily) I, I can't listen to this! (sighs, turns back) Spike is a monster, okay? A-and plus, you are only fourteen years old.
DAWN: I like hanging out with him is all. And even if I did have a crush, he wouldn't notice in a million years. Not with you around.
BUFFY: What does that mean?
DAWN: Spike's totally into you.

Buffy is speechless.

DAWN: Oh, come on. You didn't notice? Buffy, Spike is completely in love with you.

Buffy stares at her.

BUFFY: Huh?
Blackout.


Act II

Fade in on a piece of yellow police tape (CRIME SCENE DO NOT CROSS) stretched across the doorway of the train. A hand rips it down. Pan over to Buffy and Xander standing on the platform. Buffy has the yellow tape in her hand. Xander is holding a flashlight.
XANDER: So, tell me again what we're looking for?
BUFFY: Clues.

She goes into the train.

XANDER: Ooooh-kay.

He follows.

Cut to inside the train. Tape on the seats marks where the victims were found. Buffy and Xander enter, look around.

XANDER: Could you give me a clue about what kind of clues?
BUFFY: Something. Anything. (looks around) Just wanna know this was a vamp attack. If it was, how many we're talking about.

Xander shines his flashlight around.

XANDER: Well, Sunnydale's finest didn't ... leave us a lot of stuff to examine ... who knows how many people have traipsed through here.

Buffy is thinking about something else.

BUFFY: Xander?
XANDER: What?

Buffy starts to speak, stops.

BUFFY: Never mind.

They each turn to look at a different part of the train car. Then Buffy turns back.

BUFFY: I-it's just that ... Dawn ... said that...
XANDER: Yeah?
BUFFY: Forget it.
XANDER: Buffy! (walks toward her)
BUFFY: She thinks that ... she said that ... (Xander nods, waits for it) Spike's in love with me.

Xander frowns for a second, then bursts out laughing.

BUFFY: I'm not joking.
XANDER: (still laughing) Oh, I hope not. It's funnier if it's true.
BUFFY: I'm serious. Xander, this is serious!

He stops laughing with an effort, puts up a hand to show willing.

XANDER: (seriously) All right. (clears throat)

After a moment he snickers and begins laughing again. Buffy pouts, sits down on a seat, right inside the tape outline of a corpse.

BUFFY: It's creepy.
XANDER: No. Not creepy. 'Cause it's not real! I mean, how upset can you really get over one of Spike's ... fevered daydreams that's not gonna happen?
BUFFY: I guess.
XANDER: So, where did Dawn, how did she come to this *extremely* ... entertaining conclusion?
BUFFY: (gets up) She was hanging out with Spike. I think she has a crush on him.

She walks past Xander, who turns to watch her in dismay.

XANDER: What?
BUFFY: I mean, I always knew that he had this ... weird fixation with me...
XANDER: I'm the one she has a crush on! Me!
BUFFY: (shakes head) There's nothing here. Let's go. (turns to leave)
XANDER: It's always been me! Big funny Xander! Oh, what, she just suddenly decides I'm not the cool one any more? Why is that okay?

Xander follows Buffy out. The camera pans up to the cargo compartment in the ceiling of the train car. We see an antique doll lying on its side, with a red blindfold tied around its eyes.

Cut to: Buffy entering her home, walking down the hall toward the kitchen.

JOYCE: (OS) But what they didn't get was, that it was a copy of the bill of lading...

Pan down the hallway. We see Joyce leaning on the kitchen island. As the camera moves closer we see Dawn on the other side of the island, listening and smiling.

JOYCE: ...so they thought that it was another order form, so now I've got two shipments of Greek amphorae on my hands!

The camera pans further and we see Spike sitting on the counter behind Dawn. All three laugh at the conclusion of Joyce's story.

SPIKE: That's funny. And really, how many do you need, amphorae?

They all laugh more. Buffy enters, folding her arms over her chest. Joyce sees her.

JOYCE: (giggling) Oh, Buffy. Spike came by to apologize for yesterday. (puts her hands over Dawn's) Our missing child drama.
BUFFY: (nods) And he just decided to ... hang out for a while?
JOYCE: Oh, well, I got talking about the gallery. See, there was this-
SPIKE: Oh, don't get us all laughing again, Joyce. Anyhow, I really need to talk to your eldest.
BUFFY: What about?

Spike gets down from the counter and goes past Buffy into the hallway. She turns to follow him, looking suspicious.

SPIKE: I got a bit of info you might be keen on knowin'.
BUFFY: Sorry, all out of cash. Why don't you hit on Giles - hit *up* Giles.
SPIKE: I got a bead on the guy who killed those people. The ones on the train.
BUFFY: Do tell.
SPIKE: (jerking his head to indicate she should come with him) I'll do better than that, I'll show.

Buffy doesn't budge. Spike frowns.

SPIKE: What's the matter?
BUFFY: (nervous) Nothing ... just...
SPIKE: (sighs, rolls his eyes) Two vamps holed up in a warehouse downtown. Come on, what are you waiting for, grab your coat and your pointy sticks.

Buffy moves past him. He lets her pass and falls in behind her.

Cut to: Spike and Buffy sitting in a car watching a warehouse. Spike looks at Buffy. She gives him a sharp look back. He looks away. Buffy frowns at him, looking very suspicious and nervous.

Spike suddenly reaches toward her and Buffy flinches back in her seat.

BUFFY: Hey!

He opens the glove compartment and takes out a flask. Buffy looks relieved. Spike takes a swig and then offers her the flask.

BUFFY: Ew.
SPIKE: It's not blood, it's bourbon.
BUFFY: (slower) Eeeeew.
SPIKE: (grins ruefully) Suit yourself.

He shakes his head, reaches across Buffy to put the flask back, sits back and sighs. He begins to hum, tapping his fingers on the steering wheel. Buffy gives him a look, which he doesn't notice.

SPIKE: (sings) I wanna be sedated... (stops singing, looks at Buffy) Do you like the Ramones?
BUFFY: So if you're not doing this for the money, why *are* y-
SPIKE: Shh!

They both look out the front window. Two figures walk across the street.

Closer shot of the two male vamps going up to a door, opening it and entering the warehouse.

Spike and Buffy get out of the car.

Cut to inside warehouse. The two vamps are sitting on a sofa. One is making popcorn over a small lantern. The other is looking through a pile of CDs. Buffy and Spike enter. The vamps get up.

VAMP 1: The Slayer!

The two vamps turn and run away. The popcorn continues popping.

SPIKE: Well, that was sad. (Buffy moves forward, looking around) I'm embarrassed for our kind.

Shot of the vamps' furniture arranged in a cozy grouping.

Spike comes forward, goes a few steps in the direction the vampires went. (continuity note: the popcorn disappears at this point)

SPIKE: So. Should we chase after 'em, then? They couldn't have gone far.

Buffy is still staring at the furniture and stuff.

BUFFY: These vamps have been here for a while. They've nested.
SPIKE: So ... you're saying they're a couple of poofters?
BUFFY: No. I'm saying they had nothing to do with last night's murders.
SPIKE: How do you figure?
BUFFY: Whoever did it only arrived in town last night. Looks like you've wasted my time.

She turns to leave.

Spike hurries after her, arrives in time to open the door for her. Buffy stops with her hand up (prepared to grab the doorknob) and turns to Spike with a frown.

BUFFY: What are you doing?
SPIKE: (looks at the door) I, I was ... (scoffs) I wasn't thinking.
BUFFY: What is this?
SPIKE: Oh, come- (shoves the door closed) don't get your knickers twisted, I was-
BUFFY: What ... is this? (Spike stares at her) The late-night stakeout, the bogus suspects, the flask? (Spike raises his eyebrows) Is this a date?
SPIKE: (loudly) A d- Please! (pretending to be amused) A date? You are completely off your bird! I mean - (quietly) Do you want it to be?

Buffy makes a little groan, with an expression of disgust. She moves past Spike back into the warehouse.

BUFFY: (upset) Oh my god.

Spike bites his lip, turns to watch her.

BUFFY: Oh ... oh no. (turns back to Spike) Are you out of your mind? (continuity note: the popcorn reappears)
SPIKE: It's not so unusual. (walks toward her) Two people ... in the workplace ... feelings develop.
BUFFY: No! No, no, feelings do not develop. No feelings.
SPIKE: You can't deny it. There's something between us.
BUFFY: Loathing. Disgust.
SPIKE: Heat. Desire.
BUFFY: Please! Spike, you're a vampire.
SPIKE: Angel was a vampire.
BUFFY: Angel was good!
SPIKE: And I can be too. I've changed, Buffy.
BUFFY: What, that chip in your head? That's not change. Tha-that's just ... holding you back. You're like a serial killer in prison!
SPIKE: Women marry 'em all the time!
BUFFY: Uhh!
SPIKE: (realizing that's not what he meant) But I'm not ... like that. Something's happening to me. I can't stop thinking about you.
BUFFY: Uhh. (turns away)
SPIKE: And if that means turning my back on the whole evil thing-
BUFFY: (turns back) You don't know what you mean! You don't know what feelings are!
SPIKE: (offended) I damn well do! I lie awake every night!
BUFFY: You sleep during the day!
SPIKE: Yeah, but - (through his teeth) You are missing the point. This is real here. I love-
BUFFY: Don't!

She puts up a hand to stop him. He sighs.

BUFFY: Don't say it. (Spike stares at her) I'm going. She starts to walk toward the door again.

SPIKE: Oh, come on, we need to talk-
BUFFY: (turns back) We don't need to do anything! Okay, there is no we! Understand?

She turns to leave.

SPIKE: Buffy.

She opens the door and exits. Spike watches her go.

Cut to: Spike entering his crypt, moving slowly. It's dark. He walks in, makes a face and puts his hand to his face. Suddenly there's a sniffling noise. Spike looks up, looks around suspiciously.

SPIKE: Who's there?

A voice comes from the shadows behind him. He turns.

VOICE: A happy memory, pretty Spike.

Drusilla walks out from the shadows, holding a red rose.

DRUSILLA: Look who's come to make everything right again.

Spike stares at her, astonished. She puts the rosebud against her cheek and draws it down across her face.
Blackout.


Act III

Fade in on closeup of Spike.
SPIKE: So, uh, let me get this straight. Darla got mojo'd back from the beyond ... you vamped her... (camera pulls back so we can see Dru circling behind him) ...and now she and you are working on turning Angel into his own bad self again.
DRUSILLA: Mm-hmm.
SPIKE: Sounds fun.
DRUSILLA: It is. Like lollipops at the circus. Although ... didn't care for Angelus setting us on fire. (She touches her cheek and chest where we can see still-healing burn marks.)
SPIKE: And this has got you, what, all nostalgic now, has it?
DRUSILLA: I want us to be a family again, my William.

She walks up close to him and puts her mouth next to his ear.

DRUSILLA: (whispers) Come back with me. (pulls back to look at him)
SPIKE: To Los Angeles? (she nods) I've done the whole L.A. scene, Dru. Didn't agree with me. (walks away) Besides, I've got a sweet little setup here in Sunny-D. (gestures around) Decent digs... (sits in his armchair) not to mention all the tasty townies I can eat.

Dru rubs one finger against the other in a scolding gesture.

DRUSILLA: Naughty! Shh. (puts finger to her lips) You needn't make up stories. I already know why you're not coming. Poor boy. (puts hands to her head) Tin soldiers put funny little knick-knacks in your brain. Can't hunt! Can't hurt! Can't kill!

She jerks her head on each "can't" in an imitation of Spike being zapped by the chip.

DRUSILLA: You've got a chip.

She tries to put her hands on Spike's head but he gets up from the chair and moves away.

SPIKE: Right, so you've heard. Poor Spike's become a cautionary tale for vampires, right? "You better be good, kiddies, or else they might wire you up someday!" (Kicks something across the room)
DRUSILLA: I don't believe in science. All those bits and molecules no one's ever seen. I trust eyes and heart alone. (Walks over to him) And do you know what mine is singing out right now?

She takes Spike's hand and puts it over her heart. He stares at her.

DRUSILLA: You're a killer. Born to slash ... and bash ... and... (gives a little gasp of pleasure) oh, bleed like beautiful poetry.

Dru breathes faster, getting excited. They turn in a circle, still with Spike's hand on her chest.

DRUSILLA: No little tinker-toy could ever stop you from flowing.
SPIKE: (whispers) Yeah.
DRUSILLA: Ohh.
SPIKE: (shakes his head, removes his hand from her) But the pain ... love, you don't understand, it's ... it's searing. It's, um, blinding.

She puts her hand on the top of his head and pulls it down toward her.

DRUSILLA: All in your head. I can see it. Little bit of ... plastic, spiderwebbing out nasty blue shocks. (moves her fingers across his head imitating a spider) And every one is a lie. (Spike keeps his head bent) Electricity lies, Spike. It tells you you're not a bad dog, but you are.

She runs her hand around behind his head and then across his face, takes his chin and lifts it to look at her. Spike growls. They gaze into each other's eyes.
HARMONY: (OS) What the heck is this?
SPIKE: Oh, bloody hell.

He turns to see Harmony entering. She comes over to them.

HARMONY: Who is - oh, wait. I get it. Our little sex game was just the beginning. Now you've gone and picked up some cheap queen of the damned to dress up like your precious Drood-zilla.
SPIKE: Harm.
HARMONY: You'd better not be thinking what I think you're thinking. 'Cause my answer is the same as always. No threesomes unless it's (gestures to Spike) boy, (gestures to the air) boy, (gestures to herself) girl. Or Charlize Theron.
SPIKE: Harm, you moron, this *is* Drusilla.

Dru just watches with a small smile.

HARMONY: Oh. Well, (walks toward Dru) you've got some nerve showing up here like this. After all this time. After breaking my sweet boo-boo's heart.

Dru looks over Harmony's shoulder at Spike and mouths the word "boo-boo." Spike shrugs.

HARMONY: Do you have any idea how hard it's been to break down the walls he put up after you left? I mean, *serious* trust issues.
SPIKE: Harm...
HARMONY: So it's no use you crawling back to him, 'cause Spikey don't play that game any more, Morticia.

Dru puts up a hand as if to block out the sight of Harmony. Harmony turns back to Spike and he grabs her by the throat.

SPIKE: (looking at Dru) It's been fun while it lasted, Harm, (Dru smiles) but I think it'd be best now if you hit the road.

He throws Harmony across the room. She hits the wall and slides down to the floor, clutching her throat and panting.

HARMONY: Why? Because she's back?
SPIKE: (still looking at Dru) No. (moves closer to Dru) Because I am.

Dru smiles. Harmony begins to get to her feet. Spike puts his arm around Dru's waist and pulls her up against him.

DRUSILLA: And there you are, my darling, deadly boy.

She puts her hand on the back of his neck and they kiss.

Cut to: Joyce, Buffy, and Willow sitting in the Summers living room.
WILLOW: Well, he ... he actually told you? He, he said, "I love you"?
BUFFY: Well, I-I didn't let him get that far, but ... I could see the words coming.
JOYCE: Honey, did you ... somehow, unintentionally, lead him on in any way? Uh, send him signals?
BUFFY: (ponders) Well, I ... I do beat him up a lot. For Spike that's like third base.

Joyce looks upset, stands up.

WILLOW: Buffy, um ... I'm really worried.
JOYCE: So am I. He could become dangerous.
BUFFY: Not really. As long as it's still chips ahoy in Spike's head he can't hurt me, or any of us. You know, besides, this'll probably just blow over. You know? It's just some weird Spike thing. He'll have the hots for some gak demon before we know it.
WILLOW: I don't know. Uh, these things can, can become pretty twisted.
JOYCE: (comes back to sit down again) Yeah, and Spike, I mean, he's...
BUFFY: Pretty twisted.
JOYCE: Yeah.
WILLOW: Well, well, you made it clear, right? That it could never happen. That there's no possible way. Ever.
BUFFY: Yeah! (looks at them) I, I think so. I don't know, I, I was just so thrown.
WILLOW: Well, Buffy, you have to talk to him again.
BUFFY: What? No. No, no, no, I have to avoid him again.
WILLOW: Not until you shut him down completely. If he thinks there's even a little chance with you, there's no telling what he'll do.

Buffy looks concerned.

Cut to the Bronze. The group Devics is onstage performing their song "Key."

And this time I'm staying to bury the trail that you left, you left

Pan across people dancing. Pan over to the door. Spike and Dru enter, arm in arm. Spike is once again wearing his usual attire complete with long black leather coat. He takes a glass of wine from a tray carried by a passing waitress. The waitress gives him a dirty look as Dru removes her coat.

Shot of the band doing an instrumental interlude.

Cut back to Dru putting the now-empty glass down. Spike takes her hands and they move onto the dance floor and begin to dance, very slow and sensual. The singer resumes singing.

And if I was cold, well then you would stay inside me, warm me...

Dru looks up.

Shot of a couple kissing on the balcony above.

Dru turns around so that her back is to Spike. He puts his arms around her waist. She leans back against him, grins and looks up again.

Another shot of the couple still kissing.

Dru leans her head back on Spike's shoulder and draws his attention to the couple. Spike has an evil expression as he and Dru begin to move off the dance floor.

Cut to the Summers house. Joyce is in the hallway taking a coat down from a hook.
JOYCE: I know this is hard, honey, but I think you made the right decision.

She walks back into the living room where Buffy and Willow are standing. Joyce gives the coat to Buffy.

JOYCE: Better to nip this in the bud before-
BUFFY: The bud nips me?
JOYCE: Exactly.
WILLOW: If you want, Buffy, I can go with. Back you up with some scowling.

She demonstrates her scowl as Buffy puts on her coat.

BUFFY: Thanks, but ... I think this is something I have to do myself. Besides, you know, maybe I'm wrong. Maybe this, this whole thing's just been blown way out of proportion and ... he's already gone back to wanting me dead.

WILLOW: Here's hoping. (Grins and holds up both hands with the fingers crossed)

Buffy sighs, turns and walks toward the door. She stops and turns back to Willow.

BUFFY: You know what, though? There is one thing you can do for me while I'm gone.

Cut back to the Bronze. Close-up shot of the couple still kissing on the balcony. Pan across to Spike and Dru, climbing the stairs hand in hand. Dru has her vamp face on. They walk in step, slow-motion, as the music continues.

I told you just like I told everyone
I still have some doubts that you are the reason

Dru walks up to the couple, grabs the girl's head and twists it. We hear her neck snap. Dru pushes the dead girl back toward Spike, who catches her as the boy looks on in horror.

Still this is just so hard 'cause I know that I'll be left like always

Dru walks behind the boy, turns his face aside and leans in to bite his neck.

Shot of the dead girl with her head lolling back, exposing her neck. Pan up to Spike staring at her neck. He looks over at Dru, who raises her head from the boy to look at Spike, smiling.

Here I'm safe so here I stay
Lift me out, lift the doubt

Spike looks conflicted. He closes his eyes, looks back at the girl, takes a few deep breaths. His vampire face appears and he bends down with a growl to bite the girl's neck.

Shot of Dru watching, then turning back to her meal.

Zoom in on Spike drinking from the dead girl.

Cut to Spike's crypt. The door opens and Buffy peeks in, looking around.
BUFFY: Spike? ... Are you here?

She walks in, looking around.

BUFFY: Spike?

Nothing. She sighs. Then she looks at the floor, sees the trap-door, crouches down and moves it aside, looking down into the hole.

Cut to underground. Buffy comes down a wooden ladder and emerges into an underground cave. There's a torch burning on the wall and a pile of human skulls by the foot of the ladder. Buffy takes down the torch and looks around, finding a couple of caskets lying with their lids open. More skulls lying all around.

Buffy goes over to one wall that's covered by a sheet. She pulls it aside and reveals Spike's mannequin. The sheet drops away and reveals a whole Buffy Shrine with a collage of pictures of her -- some photos, some drawings -- on the wall, and more pictures on a small table, along with some stakes.

Cut to Buffy climbing back up the ladder. She looks up, startled. Spike is squatting by the trap-door waiting for her. There's blood on his mouth.

SPIKE: See anything interesting?
BUFFY: (continues climbing out) Spike. I, uh ... what ... (begins backing up as Spike advances on her) what happened?
DRUSILLA: (OS) Me.

Buffy turns to see Drusilla behind her. Dru holds out a cattle prod/taser and zaps Buffy with it. Buffy falls to the floor with a grunt. Spike grins.

SPIKE: You remember my ex, don't you, Slayer?

He walks around Buffy toward Dru as Buffy sits up, leaning against the casket, groaning and wincing in pain. Spike puts an arm around Dru's shoulders.

SPIKE: Come back, she did. Couldn't live without me.
DRUSILLA: My boy's been feeding again. But I know what he really wants to eat.

Dru leans over to Buffy, who can't move. Dru tasers her again. Buffy falls over. Dru straightens up.

DRUSILLA: Shall we tie her up? (licks her finger) Play with her a teensy bit first.
SPIKE: (pensively, looking at Buffy) I'm through playing.
DRUSILLA: (delighted) Oooh. I like it when you're all dour and straight to business-like.

Spike looks at her. She gives him the taser.

Spike reaches out and tasers Dru. She gives a cry of pain and falls down.

SPIKE: (quietly) Bloody well through playing.
Blackout.


Act IV

Fade in on Buffy coming back to consciousness.
SPIKE: (OS) There she is.

Pull out to reveal Buffy in the underground cave, standing in a stone arch, with each hand cuffed to chains hanging from above. Her hands are chained at about shoulder-height. Spike stands directly in front of her. Buffy gasps anxiously and tugs at her bonds.

SPIKE: Beginning to think you'd sleep the night away.

Buffy stares at him, then remembers.

BUFFY: Dru ... Drusilla?

Spike raises his eyebrows with a slight grin. He moves aside so that Buffy can see Dru, tied to a pillar with her hands behind her back. Dru and Buffy are facing each other, about ten feet apart.

DRUSILLA: Not nice to change the game in mid-play, Spike. You've taken my chair and the music hasn't stopped.
SPIKE: Sorry, pet. My house, my rules.
DRUSILLA: I think I shall be very cross with you when I'm free again.
BUFFY: What's going on?
SPIKE: Simple. I'm gonna prove something. (moves up close to her) I love you.

Buffy closes her eyes and grimaces in disgust.

BUFFY: Oh my god.
SPIKE: No, look at me! (grabs her chin and forces her to look at him) I ... love you. (Buffy jerks her chin out of his hand) You're all I bloody think about. Dream about. You're in my gut ... my throat ... I'm drowning in you, Summers, I'm drowning in you.

Dru begins to laugh. Spike turns.

SPIKE: I can do without the laugh track, Dru.
DRUSILLA: But it's so funny. I knew ... before you did. I knew you loved the Slayer. The pixies in my head whispered it to me.

Spike turns back to Buffy as Dru continues talking.

SPIKE: You can't tell me that there isn't anything there between you and me. I know you feel something.
BUFFY: It's called revulsion. And whatever you think you're feeling, it's not love. You can't love without a soul.
DRUSILLA: Oh, we can, you know. We can love quite well. If not wisely.
SPIKE: (to Buffy) You still don't believe. Still don't think I mean it. You want proof, huh? How's this?

He stalks over to the Buffy Shrine, grabs a stake off the table, turns and puts the stake against Dru's chest. He looks over at Buffy.

SPIKE: I'm gonna kill Drusilla for you.

Dru begins laughing again.

BUFFY: That doesn't prove anything ... except that you're a sick miserable vampire that I should have dusted a long time ago. And, hey, already there.
SPIKE: Don't mock this.
BUFFY: Go mock yourself.
SPIKE: This is Drusilla, girl! You have the slightest idea what she means to me? It's the face of my salvation! (looks at Dru, smiles slightly) She delivered me from mediocrity. For over a century we ... cut a swath through continents. A hundred years, she never stopped surprising me.

He caresses Drusilla's cheek ad she leans her face into his hand.

SPIKE: (quietly) Never stopped taking me to new depths. I was a lucky bloke. (Dru smiles) Just to touch such a black beauty.

Shot of Buffy looking bored.

Spike continues stroking Dru's face as she smiles.
DRUSILLA: Aw...

Suddenly Spike lifts the stake again and puts it firmly against Dru's chest. She gasps and winces.

DRUSILLA: Ow.
SPIKE: (turning to look at Buffy) So you see, it means something.
BUFFY: Not to me. Kill her, why do I care?

Spike looks surprised, takes his hand down.

SPIKE: Here's why. (walks toward Buffy) If you don't admit ... that there's something there ... some tiny feeling for me ... then I'll untie Dru, let her kill you instead.
DRUSILLA: (nodding quickly) Yes, please. I like that game much more.
SPIKE: Just ... give me something ... a crumb ... a barest smidgen ... tell me ... maybe, someday, there's a chance.

Buffy looks intensely at him. He moves right up close to her.

BUFFY: Spike....

He looks hopeful.

BUFFY: The only chance you had with me was when I was unconscious.
SPIKE: (puzzled) Oh, what... (makes a face of extreme frustration) Ohh!

He turns away, throws the stake away and gives a loud angry yell.

SPIKE: (shouting) Gaaah! What the bleeding hell is wrong with you bloody women? What the hell does it take? Why ... do you bitches torture me?
BUFFY: Which question do you want me to answer first?
SPIKE: Look, I, I'm at the end of my bleeding tether. You know? I don't even know why I even bother, you know. (points at Dru) This is your fault. You're the one to blame for all this.
DRUSILLA: Am I?
SPIKE: (shouting) Bloody right you are! If you hadn't left me for that chaos demon, I never would have come back here! Never would have had this sodding chip in my skull! And you - (to Buffy) wouldn't be able to touch me, because this, (pointing to Buffy, then to himself) with you, is wrong. I know it. I'm not a complete idiot.

He stomps past Buffy, then turns back.

SPIKE: You think I like having you in here? Destroying everything that was me, until all that's left is you, in a dead shell. (scoffs) You say you hate it, but you won't leave. You know, what I should just do, is get rid of both of you. Burn you. Cut you into little pieces (makes scissor gesture with his fingers) so there won't be any more bints to cock up things for Spi-

He suddenly stops talking and spins around, falls over as we see an arrow protruding from his back and Harmony standing behind him with a crossbow.

Shot of Spike on the floor, looking up.
SPIKE: Oh, great.
HARMONY: (OS) What about me, Spike?

We see her standing over him.

HARMONY: You forget about me again? The *actual* girlfriend?

Shot of Drusilla looking at Buffy. Shot of Buffy watching Harmony.

HARMONY: I gave you the best ... bunch of months of my life!

She hits him over the head with the crossbow.

DRUSILLA: That's right, little girl. Teach our naughty boy a lesson.
SPIKE: (still on the floor) Oh, so now you're all ganging up.
HARMONY: I thought I could change you, Spike. I thought maybe if I gave and I gave and gave, maybe you'd come around. Maybe be a little nicer. Stop treating me like your dog. (begins reloading the crossbow) But now I see it's you. You're the dog. Who needs to be put d-

She turns away for a moment and Spike rushes her, grabs the crossbow and hits her in the face. He throws the crossbow away.

Shot of Dru looking over at Buffy. Shot of Buffy tugging at her chains.

Spike tries a kick on Harmony, which she avoids. She punches him.

Shot of Dru struggling. Shot of her hands behind her, tied with rope. Shot of Buffy struggling.

Harmony knees Spike in the groin, slaps him, but he ducks another swing, knees her in the stomach and throws her to the floor. The arrow is still sticking out of his back.

Drusilla frees herself from the ropes and runs across to Buffy, who jumps up to brace herself against the sides of the arch. Dru punches her in the stomach, then tries to swing but Buffy blocks with her still-chained hands and head-butts Dru.

Spike is on top of Harmony, pinning her down.
HARMONY: Ow, you're on my hair!
She reaches around him, grabs the arrow in his back, and twists. Spike gives a cry of pain.

Buffy kicks Dru, flips over, locks her legs around Dru's neck and flings Dru aside.

Harmony is standing, with the arrow in her hand. Spike is on the ground getting up. She tries to stake Spike with the arrow but he grabs her arm and they grapple.

Dru picks up a 2x4 and hits Buffy with it a few times, grinning.

Spike punches Harmony in the face and she falls down.

Dru grabs Buffy's throat and looks into her face. Spike runs over and grabs Dru, flings her aside. She falls to the floor. Spike takes out the keys and unlocks Buffy as Dru gets to her feet. Buffy and Spike stand side-by-side, both panting.

Dru stands up, holding her face, panting and looking shocked.

DRUSILLA: Poor Spike... (shot of Spike and Buffy staring at her) so lost. (tearfully) Even I can't help you now.

She turns and leaves.

Spike and Buffy watch her go.
HARMONY: (OS) Oh Spikey.

Both Buffy and Spike roll their eyes and turn to see Harmony standing up.

HARMONY: And you can say good-bye to this (pointing at her butt) because you're not gonna see it any more ever. (thinks) Unless you run into me somewhere and it's me walking away from you.

She starts to leave, stops and turns back, putting hands on her hips.

HARMONY: But even then ... I'll probably just ... you know ... back away.

She backs away and exits.

Buffy turns to Spike. He takes a deep breath and looks at her, anticipating.

Buffy punches him in the face. He goes flying backward into the Buffy Shrine, bringing the mannequin and all the pictures crashing down.

Buffy turns and walks off.

Spike sits up, covered in Buffy pictures, and sighs.

Cut to: Buffy walking quickly down the street near her home. Spike runs up behind her.
SPIKE: Buffy! Come on now, stop.

He reaches her and begins walking by her side.

SPIKE: You can't just walk away from this.
BUFFY: What part of punching you in the face do you not understand?
SPIKE: So we had a fight. It's not our first, love, and it doesn't change anything.
BUFFY: (stops walking, turns to him angrily) It changes everything, Spike! I want you out. I want you out of this town, I want you off this planet! You don't come near me, my friends, or my family again ever! Understand?

She walks off. Spike shakes his head and follows.

SPIKE: No, it's not that easy. We have something, Buffy. (Buffy is walking up the stairs to the front door of her house. Spike follows) It's not pretty, but it's real, and there's nothing either one of us can do about it.

Buffy opens the door and enters, turning to face Spike who is right on her heels.

SPIKE: Like it or not, I'm in your life, you can't just shut me out.

He stops suddenly at the doorway as an invisible force prevents him from entering. Buffy stands right inside the door, giving him a grim look.

Spike stares in surprise, gives a tentative smile, not quite getting it yet. It begins to dawn on him that his invitation to the Summers house has been revoked.

Buffy steps back and closes the door in his face.

Blackout.
Executive Producer: Joss Whedon.

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