What's My Line, Part 2

Written by:  Marti Noxon 
Directed by:  David Semel
Transcribed by:  AleXander Thompson

Copyright  1998 Alexander Thompson

                   ~~~~~~~~~~ Disclaimer ~~~~~~~~~~

I do not own the characters in this story, nor do I own any rights to 
the television show "Buffy the Vampire Slayer". They were created by 
Joss Whedon and belong to him, Mutant Enemy, Sandollar Television, Kuzui 
Enterprises, 20th Century Fox Television and the WB Television Network.

This is not a novelization or a script. It is a straightforward and dry 
transcript of the episode "What's My Line", part 2. It also includes 
descriptions of the settings, action scenes and camera movements where I 
felt they were needed.

I made every effort to accurately transcribe the dialogue from this 
episode. If you notice anything that is transcribed incorrectly, please 
let me know and I will post an update.                     rev 98.10.04

This episode was originally broadcast on November 24, 1997.

                    ~~~~~~~~~~ Prologue ~~~~~~~~~~

In every generation there is a Chosen One. She alone will stand against 
the vampires, the demons and the forces of darkness. She is the Slayer.

Angel's apartment. Buffy and Kendra are faced off, ready to continue 
their fight.

Buffy:  (out of breath) Okay, one more time. You're the who?!

Kendra:  I'm de Slayer.

Buffy:  Nice cover story. But here's a tip: you might wanna try it on 
someone who's not the real Slayer.

Kendra:  Ya can't stop me! Even if ya kill me, anodder Slayer will be 
sent to take me place.

Buffy:  Could you stop with the Slayer thing? I'm the damn Slayer!

Kendra:  Nonsense! Dere is but one, and I am she.

Buffy:  Okay, (sniffs) a scenario. (holds up her hand) You back off, 
I'll back off, but you promise not to go all wiggy until we can go to my 
Watcher and figure this out.

Kendra:  Wiggy?

Buffy:  You know. No kick-o, no fight-o?

Kendra considers the offer a moment, then relaxes her stance and crosses 
her arms.

Kendra:  I accept your scenario.

Buffy:  So. You were sent here?

Kendra:  Yes, by my Watcher.

Buffy:  To do what, exactly?

Kendra:  To do my duty. I am here to kill vampires.

Cut to the back room at Willy's bar. The camera pans from the window 
over to the cage. The sunlight has advanced past the cage door and is 
only about three feet from the far wall. Angel is crouched in the far 
corner, cowering and afraid. He looks up at the light coming through the 

Opening credits roll. Buffy's theme plays.

                    ~~~~~~~~~~ Part 1 ~~~~~~~~~~

The library. Kendra stands at attention as Giles paces. Buffy just leans 
on a chair with her left hand and has her right hand on her hip.

Giles:  And your Watcher is, i-is Sam Zabuto, you say?

Kendra:  Yes, sir.

Giles:  We've never met, but he, he's, he's very well-respected.

Buffy:  What, so he's a real guy? As in non-fictional?

Giles:  And you are called...?

Kendra:  I am de Vampire Slayer.

Buffy:  We got that part, hon. He means your name.

Kendra:  Oh. Dey call me Kendra. I have no last name, sir.

Buffy:  (haughty) Can you say 'stuck in the 80's'?

Giles:  Buffy, please. Uh, there's obviously some, some misunderstanding 

Willow comes bouncing into the library with a smile on her face. Kendra 
marches around Buffy to intercept her.

Willow:  (greets them) Hey!

Kendra:  Identify yourself!

Willow is taken aback and her smile fades to a frown.

Buffy:  Back off, pink ranger! This is my friend.

Kendra:  Friend?

Buffy:  Yeah. As in person you hang with? Amigo?

Kendra:  I don't understand.

Buffy:  (to Giles, exasperated) You try. I'm tapped. (sits)

Giles:  Uh-uh, Kendra, uh, there are a-a-a few people, uh, ci-civilians 
if you like, who, who know Buffy's identity. Willow is one of them, a-a-
and they also, um, spend time together, uh, socially.

Kendra:  And you allow dis, sir?

Giles:  Well, uh...

Kendra:  But de Slayer must work in secret for security.

Giles:  Of course, uh, but, uh, with Buffy, however, it-it's, um, some 
flexibility is required.

Buffy gives Giles a look.

Kendra:  Why?

Willow:  (confused) Hi, guys. W-what's goin' on? (goes to sit across 
from Buffy)

Buffy:  Apparently there's been a really big mix-up.

Giles:  Uh, it seems somehow that, uh, another Slayer has been sent to 

Willow:  Is that even possible? I mean, two Slayers at the same time?

Giles:  Not to my knowledge. Um, th-the new Slayer is only called after 
the previous Slayer has died. Uh... (realizes) Oh, good Lord! You were 
dead, Buffy.

Buffy:  I was only gone for a minute.

Giles:  Clearly it doesn't matter how long you were gone. You were 
physically dead! Thus causing the activation of the, the next Slayer. 
(nods toward Kendra)

Kendra:  She died?

Buffy:  Just a little.

Giles:  She drowned, but she was revived.

Willow:  So there really are two of them!

Giles:  It would seem so. This is completely unprecedented! I'm quite 
flummoxed. (sits)

Buffy:  What's the flum? It's a mistake, she isn't supposed to be here, 
she goes home! (to Kendra) Look, no offense, I really don't mean this 
personally, but I'm not dead, and frankly having you around creeps me 
out just a little bit.

Kendra:  I cannot just leave. I was sent here for a reason. Mr. Zabuto 
said all de signs indicate dat a very dark power is about to rise in 

Buffy:  (gets up) And what's your great plan for finding this dark 
power? You just gonna attack people randomly till you find a bad one?

Kendra:  Of course not.

Buffy:  Then why the hell did you attack me?

Kendra:  I tought you were a vampire.

Buffy:  Oh, a swing and a miss for the rookie. (walks around Kendra to 

Kendra:  I had good reason to tink you were. Did I not see you kissing a 

Willow:  (stands up in her defense) Buffy would never do that! 
(realizes) Oh. (to Buffy) Except for that sometimes you do that. (to 
Kendra) But only with Angel. (to Buffy) Right? (sits again)

Buffy:  Yes! Right. (to Kendra) Look, you saw me with Angel, and he is a 
vampire, but he's good.

Kendra:  Angel? You mean Angelus? I've read about him. He is a monster.

Giles:  No, no, no, he's, he's good now.

Willow:  (smiles) Really!

Buffy:  He had a gypsy curse.

Kendra:  He has a what?

Buffy:  Y'know what, just trust me on this one, okay? He's on the home 
team now.

Kendra:  I cannot believe you. He looked to me just like anodder animal 
when I...

Buffy:  When you what? (confronts her) What did you do to him?

Kendra:  I...

Buffy:  What did you do?!

Cut to the back room of Willy's bar. Angel leans against the back wall, 
weakened by the ambient light. Willy comes in and looks at him. He opens 
the cage door and walks in. He uses his body to shade Angel from the 
direct sunlight and drags him out of the cage and into another storage 
room. There he opens a hatch in the floor to the sewers below and drops 
Angel down into the shallow water. Angel is too weak to get up on his 
own. Willy lowers himself through the hatch and drops to the water, too. 
He's unhappy about the fact that his shoes have just been ruined. Spike 
walks into the light from the shadows.

Willy:  There you go, friend. He'll be as good as new in a day or so.

Two of Spike's thugs arrive to drag Angel away. Willy holds up his hands 
to stop them.

Willy:  Uh, hey, wai-wait. We had a deal, right?

Spike:  (pulls out a wad of cash) What's the matter, Willy? Don't you 
trust me? (starts handing him bills)

Willy:  Oh, yeah. Like a brother.

Spike slaps him across the cheek.

Spike:  Talk and I'll have your guts for garters.

Willy:  Wild horses couldn't drag it.

Spike holds up the last bill, crumbles it and drops it into the water.

Spike:  Oops! Sorry, friend.

Willy bends over to pick up the bill as the two thugs grab Angel and 
drag him off.

Willy:  What are you gonna do with him anyway?

Spike:  I'm thinkin' maybe dinner and a movie. I don't want to rush into 
anything. I've been hurt, you know.

He follows his goons down the sewer. Willy counts his money again.

Cut to Buffy's house. Cut to the foyer. Norman's case is open and 
Cordelia is going through the samples.

Cordelia:  Do you have anything in raisin? I know you wouldn't think so, 
but I'm both a winter and a summer.

Norman:  Nine ninety-nine, tax included.

Cordelia:  You said that already. Do you have anything in the berry 

Norman:  Are there more ladies in the house?

Cordelia:  Oh, no, they're not home. (faces him) You know, nothing 
personal, but maybe you should look into selling dictionaries, or... 

She sees a mealworm crawl out of his sleeve and onto his hand. Xander 
comes back down the stairs and sees Norman. Cordelia slowly backs away 
from him.

Xander:  Hey, what's up?

Cordelia:  Um, he's a salesman, and he was just leaving, right? Uh, 
okay! Buh-bye! Thank you!

Xander:  (reaches up to guide him out) Okay, Mary Kay, time to...

Another mealworm crawls across Norman's cheek and into his right ear. 
Xander backs away.

Xander:  Time to run!

He breaks into a run, guiding Cordelia away with him as Norman 
transforms into a mass of mealworms. They quickly crawl across the 
floor. Xander and Cordelia run into the kitchen for the back door, but 
Norman is already there, reassembled and waiting for them. Cordelia 
screams, and Xander grabs her hand and pulls her back into the hall. 
They open the door to the basement and hurry in, closing the door behind 
them. The mealworms try to come under the door, but they stomp on them.

Xander:  Find something to cover the crack under the door!

He grabs a broom and sweeps the mealworms back under the door with it.

Cordelia:  Uhh... (finds a roll of duct tape) Here! I don't do worms.

He gives her an exasperated look, grabs the roll from her and shoves the 
broom into her hands.

Xander:  Cover me!

She sweeps at the mealworms while he pulls a length of tape off of the 
roll and sticks it to the bottom of the door.

Cordelia:  Eww! Eh! Eh!

Cut to the back room of Willy's bar. Buffy barges through the door.

Buffy:  Angel?!

Kendra walks into the cage where she left him and looks around.

Kendra:  No ashes.

Buffy:  What?

Kendra:  When a vampire combusts, he leaves ashes.

Buffy:  Yeah, I know the drill.

Kendra:  So I did not kill him.

Buffy:  And I don't need to kill *you*.

Willy shows up at the door.

Willy:  Whoa! There's a lotta tension in this room.

Kendra attacks him and pushes him out of the back room and onto the 

Buffy:  Doesn't anyone just say 'hello' where you come from?

Kendra turns Willy over on the floor and grabs him by the shirt, ready 
to punch.

Kendra:  Dis one is dirty! I can *feel* it!

Buffy:  That's really good for you, Percepto Girl, (lifts him up) but 
we're not gonna get anything out of him if he's, oh, say, (slams him 
into the bar) unconscious. (to Willy) Where's Angel?

Willy:  My buddy Angel? You think I'd let him fry? I saved him in the 
nick! He was about five minutes away from being a crispy critter.

Buffy:  Where'd he go?

Willy:  Uh, he said he was gonna stay underground. You know, recuperate.

Buffy:  Are you telling me the truth?

Willy:  I swear on my mother's grave! Should something fatal happen to 
her, God forbid.

Kendra:  Den he is alright. We can return to your Watcher for our 

Buffy:  (lets go of Willy) I don't take orders. I do things my way.

Kendra:  No wonder you died.

Buffy:  (ignores the comment) Let's go.

They start to leave. Willy steps away from the bar.

Willy:  I, I have to ask. (the girls looks back) Has either of you girls 
considered modeling? I have a friend with a camera? Strictly high-class 
nude work. You know, art photographs. But naked.

Buffy and Kendra exchange a look and just walk out without a word.

Willy:  You don't have to answer right away.

Cut to Drusilla's bed. She's asleep. Spike bends over her and strokes 
her hair. She wakes.

Drusilla:  (moans) I was dreaming.

Spike:  Of what, pet?

Drusilla:  We were in Paris. You had a branding iron.

Spike:  I brought you something.

He goes over to the stairs and picks Angel up from the landing.

Drusilla:  And there were worms in my baguette.

Spike:  (drags Angel in) Your sire, my sweet. (dumps him on the floor)

Drusilla:  My Angel?

Spike:  (comes back to the bed) The one and only. Now all we need's the 
full moon tonight, and he will die, and you will be fully restored. 
(takes her hand, whispers) My black goddess. (kisses her hand) My ripe, 
(works his way up her arm) wicked plum. (raises his head) It's been...

Drusilla:  Forever.

They kiss passionately. Angel watches from the floor, all tied up and 
gagged. He strains against his bonds. They break off their kiss.

Drusilla:  Spike, let me have him. Hmm? Until the moon.

Spike:  (smiles) Alright, you can play, but don't kill him. He mustn't 
die till the ritual.

Drusilla:  Bring him to me.

Spike picks Angel up from the floor and forces him over to Drusilla. She 
grabs him by the chin and looks him in the eye.

Drusilla:  You've been a very bad daddy.

She slaps him across the face. Angel is powerless to do anything.

                    ~~~~~~~~~~ Part 2 ~~~~~~~~~~

Sunnydale High. Giles, Kendra, Willow and Buffy come down the outside 
stairs and head into the halls.

Giles:  Kendra, I-I've, uh, conferred with your Watcher, Mr. Zabuto, 
and, uh, we both agree that, uh, until this matter with Spike and 
Drusilla has been resolved that you two should work together.

Buffy:  Oh, that'll be a treat.

Kendra:  So, you believe dat Spike is attempting to revive dis Drusilla 
to health?

Giles:  Yes, well, I-I-I-I think that's the, uh, the dark power that 
your, your Watcher re-referred to. You see, uh, you see Drusilla's not 
only evil, she's, uh, well, she's also quite mad, and-and-and-and if 
she's restored to her full health, then, uh, well, there's no, 
absolutely no telling what she might do.

Kendra:  Den we will stop Spike.

Buffy:  Ooo, good plan, let's go, charge!

Giles:  Buffy...

Buffy:  It's a little more complicated than that, John Wayne.

Giles:  Yes, I'm, I'm afraid it is. You see, Spike has also called out 
the Order of Taraka to keep Buffy out of the way.

Kendra:  De assassins? I read of dem in de writings of Dramius.

Giles:  Oh, really? W-w-which volume?

They exit the hall and walk along the colonnade.

Kendra:  I believe it was six, sir.

Buffy:  Um, how do you know all this?

Kendra:  From me studies.

Buffy:  So, obviously you have a lot of free time.

Kendra:  I study because it is required. (Giles smiles) The Slayer 
handbook insists on it.

Willow:  There's a Slayer handbook?

Buffy:  Wait. Handbook? What handbook? How come I don't have a handbook?

Willow:  Is there a T-shirt, too? (gets a look from Buffy) 'Cause that 
would be cool... (rolls her eyes)

Giles:  After meeting you, Buffy, I realized that, uh, the handbook 
would be of no use in your case.

Buffy:  Well, what do you mean it would be of no use in my case? Wha-
what's wrong with my case?

Giles:  Uh, Kendra, um, perhaps you'd like to show me the, the part in, 
uh, Dramius Six where, uh, uh, where it refers to the Order of Taraka. 
Really, I-I, I seem to have never been able to get through that book. It 
was a bit stodgy.

Kendra:  (smiles) It was difficult. All dose footnotes.

Giles and Kendra laugh out loud.

Buffy:  (to Willow) Hello, and welcome to planet pocket protector.

Giles:  Oh, well, B-Buffy, Principal Snyder was snooping round after 

Buffy:  (stops) Eee. Career fair.

Giles:  Best make an appearance, I think.

Buffy:  Right.

Kendra:  Buffy's a student here?

Giles:  Yes.

Kendra:  Riiight, of course. And I imagine she's a cheerleader as well.

Giles:  Oh, no, well, a-a-actually she had to give up her cheerleading. 
(gets a look from Kendra) Uh, it was quite an amusing story, actually. 
Uh, uh, let's go and find the book, shall we?

The two of them head off to the library. Buffy and Willow continue their 

Buffy:  Get a load of the she-Giles.

Willow:  Creepy.

Buffy:  Ew. I'll bet Giles wishes I was more of a book geek.

Willow:  Giles is enough of a book geek for the both of you.

Buffy:  Yeah, but did you see how they were vibing? (mocks them) Volume 
six, ha, ha, ha!

Willow:  Buffy, no one could replace you. You'll always be Giles' 

Buffy:  I wonder.

Willow:  Of course, you will. You're *his* Slayer. The *real* Slayer.

Buffy:  No. I wonder if it would be so bad, being replaced.

Willow:  You mean, like, letting Kendra take over?

Buffy:  Maybe. I mean, maybe after this thing with Spike and the 
assassins is over, I could say, 'Kendra, you slay, I'm going to 

Willow:  But not forever, right?

Buffy:  No, Disneyland would get boring after a few months. But I could 
do other stuff. Career day stuff. Maybe I could even have a normal life.

Cut to Buffy's basement. Cordelia is pacing.

Xander:  Could you sit down, or change your pattern or something? You're 
making me queasy.

Cordelia:  (leans on the washer) Because you're just sitting there. You 
should be thinking up a *plan*.

Xander:  I have a plan. We wait. Buffy saves us.

Cordelia:  How will she even know where to find us?

Xander:  Cordelia, this is Buffy's house. Odds are she'll find us.

Cordelia:  Well, what if she doesn't? What am I supposed to do? Just 
waste away down here with you? Haw, haw, no thank you! (makes tracks for 
the stairs)

Xander:  (gets up to stop her) What are you doin'?

Cordelia:  (stops and faces him) Going to see if he's gone!

Xander:  That's brilliant! What if he isn't?

Cordelia:  Oh, right! You think we should just slack here and hope that 
somebody else *decides* to be a hero? (goes back to the washer) Sorry, 
forgot I was stranded with a LOSER! (leans and crosses her arms)

Xander:  And yet I never forgot that I'm stuck with the numb-brain that 
let Mr. Mutant in the house in the FIRST PLACE!


Xander:  What, is he supposed to have an arrow with the word 'assassin' 
over his head?! All it took was the prospect of a free makeover, and you 
licked his hand like a big, dumb dog!

Cordelia:  You know what? (heads for the stairs again) I'm going.

Xander just raises his eyebrows, ready to let her go. She stops at the 
foot of the stairs and faces him again.

Cordelia:  I'd rather be worm food than look at *your* pathetic face!

Xander:  Then go! I'm not stopping ya!

Cordelia:  I bet you wouldn't! I bet you'd let a girl go off to her doom 
all by herself!

Xander:  Not just any girl. (nods) You're special.

Cordelia:  I can't believe that I'm stuck spending what will probably be 
my last few moments on Earth here WITH YOU!

Xander:  I *hope* these are my last few moments! Three more seconds with 
you, and I'm gonna... (steps closer)

Cordelia:  (steps closer) I'm gonna what? Coward!

Xander:  Moron!

Cordelia:  I *hate* you!

Xander:  I HATE YOU!

They look at each other for another second before grabbing each other 
and engaging in a mad, passionate kiss. It goes on for several seconds 
before they suddenly release each other and look at each other in 

Xander:  We *so* need to get outta here.

Cordelia:  (nods) Mm-hm!

She rushes up the stairs with Xander right behind. They stop at the top, 
crouch down and give each other anxious looks. Xander grabs one end of 
the tape and pulls it off. There aren't any worms on the other side. 
Xander moves the broom aside and opens the door slowly. They both look 
out into the hall for any sign of the mealworms.

Cordelia:  He's gone.

Xander steps out and peeks around the corner down the hall to the dining 
room. The coast looks clear, so Xander makes a dash for the front door. 
Cordelia follows a moment later, and when she comes through the dining 
room door mealworms begin falling onto her from the ceiling. She screams 
as they fall on her en masse and runs for the door. Cut outside. Xander 
throws the door open and dashes into the front yard. Cordelia follows 
him out, screaming.

Cordelia:  Xander, oh my God! Get them off of me!

Xander turns to look.

Cordelia:  Get 'em off!

He runs for the hose.

Cordelia:  (terrified) Get 'em off of me! Oh, my God, get 'em off me! 

Xander grabs the hose and starts spraying the mealworms off of her. She 
keeps screaming and turns her back to him, then her front again. He 
keeps spraying as she tries to brush them off. She turns around again to 
let him spray her back again and reaches down the back of her dress to 
get some mealworms out. She turns back around.

Cordelia:  Okay, okay, let's get outta here! Xander, let's go!

He keeps spraying her in spite of her protests.

Cordelia:  Okay! Let's go!

She runs for her car. Xander follows her with the hose for another 
instant, then drops it and follows her. Cut to a close-up of her license 
plate, "QUEEN C". She floors it, and they burn rubber into the street. 
Further down the block she screeches round the corner.

Cut to the halls at the school. Buffy and Willow stroll along past the 
career fair displays.

Buffy:  My tests say that I should look into law enforcement -- duh! -- 
and environmental design.

Willow:  Environmental design. That's landscaping, right?

Buffy:  I checked the 'shrub' box. But landscaping was yesterday, so law 
enforcement it is.

They stop near the steps to the couches in the lounge. Buffy looks 
around and notices Oz looking over at Willow.

Buffy:  (to Willow) Hey, Will, don't look, okay, but... (Willow looks) 
No, don't look! (smiles) That guy over there is totally checking you 

Willow:  (looks with her eyes) Oh, that's Oz. He's expressing computer 
nerd solidarity.

Oz gets up and starts to walk over.

Buffy:  Really? Then why is he on his way over here right now?

Willow is surprised when she sees him coming.

Buffy:  Told you! (makes a discreet exit)

Oz:  Hey.

Willow:  (smiles) Hey! (notices) Your hair! Is brown!

Oz:  Oh, yeah, sometimes. So, uh, did you decide? Are you gonna be a 
Corporate Computer Suit Guy?

Willow:  Oh. Uh, well, I-I think I'm gonna finish high school first. 
What about you?

Oz:  I'm not really a computer person, you know. Or a work of any kind 

Willow:  They why'd they select you?

Oz:  Oh, I sorta test well. Y'know, which is cool. E-except that it 
leads to jobs.

Willow:  Well, don't you have some ambition?

Oz:  Oh, yeah! Yeah. E-flat, diminished ninth.

Willow:  Huh?

Oz:  Well, the E-flat, it's, it's doable, but that diminished ninth, 
y'know, it's a man's chord. Now, you could lose a finger.

Willow nods, pretending to understand.

Cut to Buffy. She signs up at the law enforcement table and joins the 
group. Patrice, the recruitment officer, picks up the clipboard and 
looks it over.

Patrice:  Alright, listen up, and answer when I call your name. Buffy 

Buffy raises her hand. Patrice calmly puts the clipboard back down. 
Quickly she draws her gun and aims it at Buffy. Buffy reacts in a flash 
and pushes the recruiter's hands and weapon up into the air as the first 
round goes off. Panic sets in throughout the hall, and people start to 
run and duck for cover. Buffy keeps struggling with the officer, and 
another round goes into the ceiling. She knees her in the gut, and she 
drops the gun and falls to the floor. Buffy starts to run as Patrice 
gets to her knees and pulls out her backup gun. Another bullet flies at 
Buffy as she dives over a table. She stands up again and looks around at 

Buffy:  GET DOWN!

She starts to run again, right past Oz and Willow. Patrice follows Buffy 
with her aim.


He lunges for Willow and pulls her to the floor with him, but takes the 
next bullet meant for Buffy in the arm. Patrice keeps following Buffy 
with her gun and shoots off the cranium of a skeleton. Buffy has 
disappeared down the hall, and the police recruiter carefully makes her 
way to the wall to peek around it down the hall. She doesn't see her, 
but senses that she's there, and decides to go to the other end of the 
wall to come around the other side. The camera pans to the other side 
where Buffy is leaning against the wall, breathing hard and waiting for 
Patrice to make her next move. When she is about to come around the 
other corner, Buffy leaps over a table and tackles her to the floor. She 
drops her backup gun and it slides away. Buffy gets to her feet and 
adopts a fighting stance. Patrice gets back to her knees, pulls out her 
small ankle backup and aims it at Buffy as she stands back up. Before 
she can get off a round Kendra kicks the gun out of her hands. She 
follows it up with a kick to Patrice's face, making her fall flat on her 
back. She makes her stand next to Buffy. Patrice grabs Jonathon as a 
hostage, pulls out a short blade and threatens him with it. The two 
girls watch her slowly back toward the door at the end of the hall with 
the boy in tow. Halfway there she drops Jonathon and makes a dash for 
the door. Kendra doesn't hesitate to give chase. Buffy rushes over to Oz 
and Willow and kneels down next to them. Oz is holding his arm.

Buffy:  How is he?

Willow:  He's shot! (to Oz) Are you okay?

Oz:  I, uh, I'm shot! (takes his hand away briefly and chuckles) Y'know. 
(laughs) Wow! It's odd! And painful.

Buffy gets up again when Kendra shows back up.

Kendra:  She's gone.

Jonathon:  W-was that a demonstration?

Buffy looks around at the scene.

Cut to the library. Giles has the first-aid kit out, and Willow is 
wrapping Buffy's knee.

Buffy:  She was definitely one of the Taraka gang, Giles, and way gun 

Giles:  This, um, Oz chap, he, he, he's alright?

Willow:  The paramedic said it was only a scrape. Thank goodness.

Cordelia and Xander walk into the library. Kendra tries to head them 

Buffy:  Down, girl!

Xander:  Who sponsored career day today? The British Soccer Fan 

Giles:  (on his way to the table) We had a, a rather violent visit from 
the Order of Taraka.

Xander:  You wanna talk Order of Taraka? We just met the king *freak* of 
the... (sees Kendra) Hello.

Kendra looks at the floor, humbling herself before Xander.

Giles:  Oh, forgive me. Uh, Xander, Cordelia, this is Kendra. Uh, i-it's 
rather complicated, but she's also a Slayer.

Cordelia:  (heads for the table) Hi. Nice to meet you.

Xander:  A Slayer, huh? (to Buffy) I knew this 'I'm the only one, I'm 
the only one' thing was just an attention-getter.

Buffy:  (hops off of the counter) Just say hello, Xander. (makes for the 
table with Willow)

Xander:  Welcome. So! You're a Slayer, huh? I like that in a woman.

Kendra:  (nervous) Uh... I hope... I tank you... I mean, sir, um... I 
will be of service.

Xander:  (looks at the others) Great! (to Kendra) Good. It's good to be 
a giver. (goes to the table)

Giles:  Xander, um, this, this, uh, assassin you encountered, what, uh, 
what did he look like?

Cordelia finds a mealworm in her hair and freaks out. She drops it onto 
a book on the table and gets up.

Cordelia:  Uhh! Uhh! Ohmigod, I'm showering! (runs from the library)

Xander:  (indicates the mealworm) Like that.

Buffy:  You and bug people, Xander. What's up with that?

Xander:  No, but this dude was completely different than praying mantis 
lady. He was a man *of* bugs, not a man who *was* a bug.

He slams the biology book shut on the mealworm to kill it and sits down.

Giles:  The, uh, the-the-the important thing is everybody's alright. 
Still, it's quite apparent that we're under serious attack.

Buffy:  These Taraka are definitely serious. (looks at Kendra) 
Fortunately for me, so is Kendra.

Giles:  And, uh, I fear the worst is still to come. I've, I-I've 
discovered the remaining keys to Drusilla's cure. The, uh, the ritual 
requires that, the presence of her sire, and it must take place in a 
church on the night of the new moon.

Buffy suddenly looks very concerned.

Kendra:  The new moon. But that is tonight.

Giles:  Exactly. And I-I'm sure the assassins were here to kill Buffy 
before she could put a stop to things.

Buffy:  They need Drusilla's sire. You mean the vamp that made her?

Giles:  Yes.

Willow:  Buffy, what is it?

Buffy:  (looks down) Angel. He's Drusilla's sire.

Xander:  Man, that guy got major neck in his day!

Willow slaps him hard on the shoulder.

Buffy:  Will this ritual kill him?

Giles:  Yes, I'm afraid it will.

Buffy:  We need to find this church. We need to find where this ritual 
is gonna take place!

Giles:  Agreed, and we must work quickly. (checks his watch) We have 
five hours before sundown.

Willow:  (opens her laptop) Don't worry, Buffy, we'll save Angel.

Kendra:  Angel? But our priority is to stop Drusilla!

Xander:  Angel's our friend! Except I don't like him.

Buffy:  Look, you've got your priorities, and I've got mine. Right now 
they mesh. So, are you gonna help me, or are you gonna get out of my 

Kendra:  (considers) I'm wit you.

Buffy:  Good. 'Cause I've had it. Spike is going down. You can attack 
me, you can send assassins after me, that's fine. But nobody messes with 
my boyfriend!

                    ~~~~~~~~~~ Part 3 ~~~~~~~~~~

Drusilla's room. She runs her hand across the lid of an elegant wooden 
box labeled 'Holy Water'. She sings quietly as she lifts the lid and 
takes out a small crystal pitcher.

Drusilla:  The lamb is caught in the blackberry patch. (approaches 
Angel) My mummy ate lemons. Raw.

She kneels next to him. Angel is tied to the posts of her canopy bed by 
both wrists high above his head.

Drusilla:  She said she loved the way they made her mouth... (runs her 
hand down and up his chest) tingle. Little Anne.

She lets some of the holy water trickle onto his chest. It steams and 
burns like acid. Angel jerks his head back in pain and stifles a scream.

Drusilla:  Her favorite was custard... brandied pears.

Angel:  Dru...

Drusilla:  (sternly) Shhh! (stands up) And pomegranates. (climbs onto 
the bed behind Angel) They used to make her face and fingers aaall red.

She reaches over his shoulder and lets more holy water dribble onto his 
chest. Again Angel grits his teeth in pain, but won't let himself scream 
out loud.

Drusilla:  Remember? Hmm? Little fingers. Little hands. Do you?

Angel:  (shivering in pain) If I could...

Drusilla:  (interrupts angrily) Bite your tongue! They used to eat cake, 
and eggs, and honey. (sweetly) Until you came and ripped their throats 

She pours the rest of the holy water onto his chest, and Angel screams 
out loud in agony.

Cut to the library. Giles comes out of the stacks and heads toward the 
stairs with a large volume full of pictures. Willow is sitting on the 
steps websurfing on her laptop. He looks down at her screen and sits 
down next to her.

Giles:  There are forty-three churches in Sunnydale? (pulls out a roll 
of mints) That seems a little excessive. (tears off some wrapping)

Willow:  It's the extra evil vibe from the Hellmouth. Makes people pray 

Giles offers her a mint, and she smiles and takes one. He gets back up 
and continues over to Xander and Cordelia at the table.

Giles:  Well, check and see if any of them are closed or abandoned.

Xander:  Yeah, yeah, we got monsters, we got demons, but no bug dude or 
police lady.

Giles sets the volume down in front of them and opens it.

Giles:  Well, you should have better luck with this one. There's a whole 
section devoted to the Order of Taraka.

Cut to Giles' office. Kendra looks through the window at them doing 
their research. Buffy is sharpening a knife.

Kendra:  And dose two, dey also know you are de Slayer?

Buffy:  Yep.

Kendra:  Did anyone explain to you what 'secret identity' means? (goes 
to the desk)

Buffy:  Nope. Must be in the handbook. (Kendra picks up the crossbow) 
Right after the chapter on personality removal. Be careful with that 

Kendra:  Please. I'm an expert in all weapons.

The bolt flies off of the crossbow and breaks a lamp. Buffy startles. 
Giles heard the noise from the main room.

Giles:  Is everything alright?

Buffy:  Yeah, it's okay. Kendra killed the bad lamp.

Kendra:  Sorry! Dis, uh, trigger mechanism is different. (sets the bow 
down) Perhaps when dis is over you can, uh, show me how to work it.

Buffy:  When this is over I'm thinking pineapple pizza and teen video 
movie fest. Possibly something from the Ringwald oeuvre.

Cut to the main room. Xander turns the page and finds a drawing of the 
bug dude.

Xander:  Oh, here we go! I am the bug man, coo coo ka choo.

Giles and Willow come over to have a look. Xander reads in another book.

Xander:  Okay. Okay. He can only be killed when he's in his disassembled 
state. (to Cordelia) Disassembled. That means when he's broken down into 
his liiittle buggy parts.

Cordelia:  I know what it means, *dorkhead*.

Xander:  (takes mock offense) Dorkhead! You slash me with your words!

Giles rubs his eyes. Willow raises her eyebrows at them.

Cut to the office. Kendra is handling a stake.

Kendra:  Your life is very different dan mine.

Buffy:  You mean the part where I occasionally have one? Yeah, I guess 
it is. (carves at a stake)

Kendra:  De tings you do and have, I was taught, distract from my 
calling. Friends, school... even family.

Buffy:  Even family?

Kendra:  My parents, dey sent me to my Watcher when I was very young.

Buffy:  How young?

Kendra:  I don't remember dem, actually. I've seen pictures. But, uh, 
dat's how seriously de calling is taken by my people. My modder and 
fadder gave me to my Watcher because dey believed dat dey were doing de 
right ting for me, and for de world. (puts down the stake and gets a 
sympathetic look from Buffy) Please, I don't feel sorry for meself. Why 
should you? 

Buffy:  I don't know, I... I guess it just sounds very lonely.

Kendra:  Emotions are weakness, Buffy. You shouldn't entertain dem.

Buffy:  Kendra, my emotions give me power. They're total assets!

Kendra:  (picks up her knife) Maybe. For you. But I prefer to keep an 
even mind. (wipes the blade)

Buffy:  (puts down her knife) Mm. I guess that explains it.

Kendra:  Explains what?

Buffy:  (plays with the stake) Oh, well, when we were fighting, uh, 
you're amazing! Your technique, it's flawless, it's, hmm, better than 

Kendra:  I know.

Buffy:  Still, I woulda kicked your butt in the end. And ya know why? No 

Kendra:  (rubs her blade more vigorously) Really? Ya tink so? (puts down 
the rag)

Buffy:  Oh, I know so. You're good, but power alone isn't enough. A good 
fighter needs to know how to improvise, to go with the flow. Uh-uh, 
seriously, don't get me wrong, y-you really do have potential. (puts 
away the stake)

Kendra:  (holds her knife ready) Potential? I could wipe de floor wit 
you right now!

Buffy:  (looks Kendra in the eye) That would be anger you're feeling.

Kendra:  What?

Buffy:  You feel it, right? How the anger gives you fire? A Slayer needs 

They both look over at Xander as he walks into the office.

Xander:  Excuse me, ladies.

Kendra looks down at the floor while he grabs a book from the desk. 
Xander notices her knife.

Xander:  Nice knife. (leaves the office)

Buffy:  I'm guessing dating isn't big with your Watcher either.

Kendra:  I'm not permitted to speak with boys.

Buffy:  Unless you're pummeling them. (has a realization) Wait a minute.

Kendra:  What?

Buffy:  That guy! The sleazoid you nearly decked in the bar.

Kendra:  You tink he might help us?

Buffy:  I tink we might make him!

Cut to Drusilla's room. She is kneeling between Angel's spread-apart 
legs and holds the little pitcher of holy water above him.

Drusilla:  Say 'Uncle'. (lowers the pitcher) Oh, that's right, you 
killed my uncle.

She is about to pour some onto his chest again when Spike comes in.

Spike:  That's it, then. (Drusilla looks up at him) Off to church.

Drusilla:  (stands up) It makes pretty colors.

Spike:  Pft! I'll see him die soon enough. I've never been much for the 

He reaches up to untie one of Angel's bonds while Drusilla puts away the 
holy water and gets Miss Edith.

Angel:  Too bad. That's what Drusilla likes best, as I recall.

Spike:  What's that supposed to mean? (steps over to the other bond)

Angel:  Ask her. She knows what I mean.

Drusilla has come back to stand behind Spike's shoulder, and he turns 
his head to face her.

Spike:  Well?

Drusilla:  (to Angel) Shhh! Grrrruff! Bad dog.

Angel:  You shoulda let me talk to him, Dru. Sounds like your boy could 
use some pointers. She likes to be teased.

Spike has finished untying the other bond and throws it to the floor.

Spike:  Keep your hole shut! (stands over him)

Angel:  Take care of her, Spike. The way she touched me just now? I can 
tell when she's not satisfied.

Spike:  I said SHUT UP!

He grabs Angel by the throat, lifts him to his feet and holds him 
against the bedpost.

Angel:  Or maybe you two just don't have the fire we had.

Spike:  That's enough.

He pounds his other hand into the wooden railing of Drusilla's bed, 
grabs the piece that broke off and holds it up to stake Angel.

Drusilla:  Spike, no!

Spike holds back. Angel tries to goad him on with a stare. Drusilla 
steps over to Spike and gently puts her arm on his shoulder and snuggles 
up to him.

Drusilla:  Shhh.

Spike:  Oh! Right. Right, you almost got me! Aren't you a 'throw himself 
to the lions' sort of sap these days. Well, the lions are on to you, 
baby. See, if I kill you now you go quick, and Dru hasn't got a chance. 
And if Dru dies your little Rebecca of Sunnyhell Farm and all her mates 
are spared her coming-out party. (squeezes Angel's throat)

Drusilla:  Spike, the moon is rising. It's time.

Spike:  Too bad, Angelus. Looks like you go the hard way. Along with the 
rest of this miserable town.

He keeps holding Angel against the bedpost as he and Drusilla engage in 
a passionate kiss.

Cut to Willy's bar. Buffy shoves him up against the shelves of liquor 

Willy:  Ah! Honest! I don't know where Angel is!

Buffy:  What about this ritual? What have you heard?

Willy:  N-nothing! I-it's all hush-hush!

Kendra:  Just hit him, Buffy!

Buffy:  (to Willy) She likes to hit.

Willy:  You know, m-maybe I did hear something about this ritual. Yeah, 
i-i... I-it's coming back to me. But, uh, I'd have to take you there.

Buffy:  Let's go. (starts to drag him out of the bar)

Kendra:  First we must return to de Watcher.

Buffy:  (stops) Excuse me? While we run to Giles, this whole thing could 
go down!

Kendra:  But it is procedure.

Buffy:  It's brainless, you mean! If we don't go now, Angel could die. 
(starts out again)

Kendra:  Is dat all you're worried about? Your boyfriend?

Buffy:  (stops again) No, it's not all, but it's enough.

Kendra:  It's as I feared. He clouds your judgment. We can't stop dis 
ritual alone!

Buffy:  Are you listening to me? He could die!

Kendra:  He's a vampire. He *should* die. Why am I de only person who 
sees it?

Buffy just stares at her a moment before turning around again and 
heading for the door with Willy in tow.

Kendra:  Are you dat big a fool?

Buffy shoves Willy out ahead of her and leaves Kendra behind in the bar.

Kendra:  (exhales) Good riddance, den.

Cut to the church. Cut inside. Willy leads her down an arched hallway.

Willy:  Here ya go. Don't ever say your friend Willy don't come through 
in a pinch.

They round a corner, and Patrice and a vampire are waiting there for 

Willy:  Here ya go. Don't ever say your friend Willy don't come through 
in a pinch.

Norman and another vampire block her escape from behind.

                    ~~~~~~~~~~ Part 4 ~~~~~~~~~~

The nave of the church. Spike walks up the main aisle from the altar 
with a burning incense censer.

Spike:  Eligor. I name thee. Bringer of war, poisoners, pariahs, grand 

He turns back to the altar. Angel and Drusilla are both strapped 
together to a chain that hangs from the ceiling. Angel's right hand is 
tied to the chain above his head.

Spike:  Eligor, wretched master of decay, bring your black medicine.

Drusilla:  Black medicine.

Spike sets the censer down on the altar and picks up the Du Lac Cross 
with his gloved hand.

Spike:  Come. (holds up the cross upside-down) Restore your most 
impious, murderous child.

Drusilla:  Murderous child.

He grabs the downward-pointing tip of the cross with his other hand and 
yanks down, pulling out a dagger. He lays the rest of the cross back on 
the altar.

Spike:  From the blood of the sire she is risen.

He takes Drusilla's left hand and raises it to Angel's, and she clasps 

Spike:  From the blood of the sire, she shall rise again.

With one swift stroke Spike stabs the blade through their hands. Angel 
screams in agony. A blindingly bright pink light emanates from their 
wounds. A pulse of energy spreads out, and then the light dies back down 
to a faint glimmer as Angel's strength begins to ebb from him into 
Drusilla. She droops backward, feeling Angel's energy flow into her.

Spike:  Right, then! Now we just let them come to a simmering boil, and 
remove to a low flame.

Willy barges through the door and strides into the nave with the 
vampires and assassins escorting Buffy close behind.

Willy:  It's payday, pal. I got your Slayer.

Spike strides up the aisle to meet him.

Spike:  (angry) Are you tripping?! You bring her here?! Now?!

Willy:  You said you wanted her.

Buffy sees Angel and Drusilla tied together at the altar.

Spike:  In the ground, pinhead! I wanted her dead.

Willy:  Now, that's not what I heard. Word was there was a bounty on her 
dead or alive.

Spike:  You heard wrong, Willy.

Buffy:  (whispers) Angel.

Spike:  Yeah. (steps over to Buffy) It bugs me, too, seeing him like 
that. Another five minutes, though, and Angel will be dead, so... I 
forebear. Don't feel too bad for Angel, though, he's got something you 
don't have.

Buffy:  (angry) What's that?

Spike:  Five minutes. Patrice!

She lets go of Buffy and draws her gun. Buffy struggles to get loose 
from the vampire holding her. The other door suddenly bursts open, and 
Kendra comes in doing a series of backflips, ending in a flying double 
kick, one foot to the back of each of the vampire's heads. They fall to 
the floor, pushing Buffy into Spike and knocking him down. Kendra lands 
on her feet, ready to fight. She wastes no time running over to Spike as 
he gets up, meeting Buffy there to fight him.

Spike:  Who the hell is this?!

Kendra grabs him by the shirt.

Buffy:  It's your lucky day, Spike.

Kendra:  Two Slayers! (decks him)

Buffy:  No waiting! (jabs him)

Spike falls but quickly gets up. Buffy breaks off to fight Patrice, 
leaving Kendra to take care of Spike. He ducks a roundhouse kick from 
her. Buffy faces off with Patrice. She extends her arms down, and a 
blade slides out from each sleeve. One of the vampires gets up from the 
floor next to them and starts to reach for Buffy when a bolt impales 
him. He falls and turns to ashes while Giles looks on from the door, 
still holding the crossbow. Buffy and Patrice begin to fight hand-to-
hand. Patrice thrusts one blade, then the other at Buffy, but she 
catches her arms and holds them up while she knees Patrice in the 
stomach. Buffy follows up with a kick to her face and sends her 
stumbling back into the wall. Spike lands a punch on Kendra, knocking 
her down, and she scrambles to avoid his follow-up kick. The other 
vampire gets up also, and Giles runs to engage him. He swings the 
crossbow at him, but the vampire grabs it, and they struggle over it. 
Giles swings at the vampire and hits him in the face. Willow jumps up 
onto his back and starts choking him with her arm. Xander spots Norman 
and taunts him.

Xander:  Hey, larvae boy! (Norman sees him) Yeah, that's right, I'm 
talkin' to you, ya big cootie!

Norman smiles and starts after him. Xander scrambles for the doors and 
carefully steps through as he closes them behind him to avoid stepping 
into the puddle of liquid adhesive Cordelia has poured there. She still 
has the bucket in her hand.

Xander:  Welcome, my little pretties!

Norman comes under the door as a mass of mealworms. Back inside Giles 
punches the vampire twice while Willow keeps holding on. Kendra jumps 
over Spike when he tries to knock her legs out from under her. She tries 
another roundhouse kick, but he blocks it. He uses the momentum of the 
block to spin around and hit her again. Patrice gets back up and comes 
for Buffy. She ducks a kick from Buffy and lunges at her with her 
blades, but Buffy handily blocks her. She swings at Buffy's face with 
one, but Buffy ducks out of the way. Out in the hall the mealworms have 
gotten stuck in the adhesive and Xander and Cordelia begin to stomp 
them. Inside Kendra swings at Spike and is blocked. Spike lands another 
hit on her. Buffy punches Patrice in the face and sends her staggering 
back into the wall again. Spike punches Kendra again, and follows up 
with a roundhouse kick. She hits the floor and scrambles back up again. 
Buffy notices her getting knocked around.

Buffy:  Switch!

She bends over and Kendra rolls over her back to face Patrice, 
immediately landing a punch and knocking her into the wall a third time. 
Buffy faces Spike.

Spike:  I'd rather be fightin' you anyway.

Buffy:  Mutual.

She blocks his thrust, then kicks him in the face and again in the gut. 
He doubles over and falls to the floor. In the hall Cordelia and Xander 
continue stomping away.

Cordelia:  Die! Die, die, die! Die!

Xander puts his hand on her lower back to calm her.

Xander:  I think he did, Cordy.

She drops the bucket and they run off. Inside, Buffy blocks a punch from 
Spike, and another, but then he lands punches to her stomach and face. 
She blocks his next swing and holds his arm while she punches him twice 
in the face. She grabs his coat and pulls him around and throws him over 
several pews and into the wall. Behind another pew Willy gets up. Spike 
growls as he stands back up and sees Willy trying to sneak out of the 
church. He rushes over and grabs him by the back of the neck.

Spike:  Where are you going?

Buffy seizes the opportunity to run to the altar and pull the dagger out 
of Angel and Drusilla's hands.

Willy:  Now, there's a way in which this isn't my fault!

Spike:  They tricked you.

Willy:  Mm-hm! They were duplicitous!

Spike:  Well, then I'll only kill you just this once. (goes for the 

Drusilla:  (weakly) Spike!

Spike stops before biting Willy and looks over at her. He sees Buffy 
trying to untie them. He lets go of Willy and rushes over to the altar, 
grabs Buffy and shoves her to the floor. He backhand punches her as she 
gets back up, knocking her down again. Willy wastes no time running out 
of the church past Willow and Giles, who are still fighting the other 
vampire. Giles has him held back by both arms and Willow has a stake 
raised to kill him.

Willow:  Hold him steady!

She plunges the stake into the vampire's heart and he bursts into ashes, 
leaving Giles all dusty. Xander and Cordelia run into the back of the 
nave as Willow pats the dust off of Giles. Patrice throws Kendra over a 
knocked-over pew and climbs over after her. She swings at Kendra twice, 
but misses both times when Kendra ducks. She swings again and this time 
slashes her in the arm. Kendra grabs her wound and looks down at it.

Kendra:  Dat's me favrit shirt! Dat's me *only* shirt!

Now Kendra is really mad, and she kicks Patrice in the back of the knee, 
making her lose her balance. She grabs Patrice by the arm and throws her 
into a cabinet in front of the organ, smashing it to pieces and knocking 
her out. Kendra runs over to join the others. Spike takes a torch from 
its wall hanger and throws it into a pile of old drapes, setting them 

Xander:  Look out!

Spike unstraps Drusilla from Angel.

Spike:  Sorry, baby. Gotta go.

He lifts her into his arms and starts down the aisle.

Spike:  Hope that was enough.

With nothing holding him up anymore Angel falls to the floor behind 
them. Buffy crawls over to him and sees Spike making his escape. She 
stands up and grabs the censer from the altar. She swings it around her 
head by its chain a few times and launches it at Spike. It hits him in 
the back of the head, and he stumbles into the church organ. The 
keyboard console collapses under his weight.

Buffy:  I'm good!

A moment later the organ superstructure collapses onto Spike and 
Drusilla, with its huge brass pipes clanging and rolling everywhere. 
Buffy turns her attention back to Angel and helps him sit up. She 
cradles his head with her arm.

Buffy:  (quietly) Hi.

Kendra sees the way they look at each other. Buffy brushes Angel's 
cheek. Giles and the others watch them through the flames. Kendra runs 
over and crouches down next to Buffy and Angel.

Kendra:  Let's get him out!

Angel moans as they begin to help him up.

Buffy:  Careful!

Kendra:  C'mon.

With their help he gets to his feet. Kendra gets under his arm to 
support him. The others run out of the church as the three of them make 
their way up the aisle and out the other door. The wreckage of the organ 
has caught fire now, too.

Cut to the school lounge the next day. Oz is getting a box of animal 
crackers from a vending machine. His arm is in a sling. He straightens 
up and sees Willow there.

Oz:  Oh, hey! (offers the box) Animal cracker?

Willow:  (smiles) No, thank you. How's your arm?

Oz:  (tries to open the box) Suddenly painless.

Willow:  You can still play the guitar okay?

Oz:  Oh, not well, but not worse.

They start to walk down the hall. Willow takes the box from him to open 

Willow:  Y'know, I never really thanked you.

Oz:  Ooo, yeah, please don't. I don't do thanks. (Willow hands back the 
open box) I get all red. Have to bail. It's not pretty.

Willow:  (smiles) Well, then forget that thing. E-especially with the 
part where I kind of owe you my life.

Oz:  (pulls out a cookie and stops) Oh, look! Monkey! And he has a 
little hat. And little pants.

Willow:  (smiles) Yeah, I-I see!

Oz:  The monkey's the only cookie animal that gets to wear clothes, you 
know that?

Willow smiles brightly.

Oz:  You have the sweetest smile I've ever seen.

Willow is surprised by the compliment.

Oz:  (continues down the hall) So, I'm wondering, do the other cookie 
animals feel sorta ripped? Like, is the hippo going, 'Hey, man, where 
are *my* pants? I have my hippo dignity!'

Willow laughs.

Oz:  And you know the monkey's just, (with a French accent) 'I mock you 
with my monkey pants!'

Willow laughs more.

Oz:  And there's a big coup in the zoo.

Willow:  The monkey is French?

Oz:  All monkeys are French. You didn't know that?

Willow:  No. (giggles)

Cut to another part of the halls. Cordelia comes walking along. When she 
sees Xander she immediately turns and walks the other way. Xander runs 
around her and stops her.

Xander:  We need to talk.

Cordelia rolls her eyes and crosses her arms as she goes into an empty 
classroom. Xander looks back and forth down the hall to make sure no one 
sees them going in together and follows her. He stands a distance away 
from her. They both fidget with their hands.

Xander:  Okay, uh-uh-uh... here's the deal. We don't have to run every 
time we see each other in the hall.

Cordelia:  Right. Okay. Why shouldn't we run?

Xander:  What happened, there's a total explanation for it.

Cordelia:  You're a pervert?

Xander:  Me?

Cordelia:  Yeah!

Xander:  No-no-no-no! (takes a step closer) I seem to recall I was the 
jumpee, my friend!

Cordelia:  As if! (takes a step closer) You've probably been planning 
this for months!

Xander:  Right, I hired a Latvian bug man to kill Buffy so I could kiss 
you. I hate to burst your bubble, but you don't inspire me to spring for 
a dinner over at Bucky's Fondue Hut.

Cordelia:  Fine! Whatever. (starts to leave, but steps back, closer) You 
know, the point is: don't try it again!

Xander:  I didn't try it! (calms a bit) Forget about the bugs, okay? The 
memory of your lips on mine makes my blood run cold.

Cordelia:  (steps closer) If you dare breathe a word of this...

Xander:  Like I want anyone to know!

Cordelia:  Then it's erased!

Xander:  Never happened!

Cordelia:  Good!

Xander:  Good!

Cordelia:  *Good*!

They stare into each other's eyes for a moment, and then grab each other 
in another mad, passionate kiss. This time they don't break off.

Cut to the front of the school. Buffy is walking Kendra to her taxi.

Kendra:  Tank you for de shirt, it was very generous of you.

Buffy:  Hey, it looks better on... well, me, but no worries. Now, when 
you get to the airport...

Kendra:  I get on de plane with me ticket, and sit in a seat. Not de 
cargo hold.

Buffy:  Very good.

Kendra:  Dat is *not* traveling under cover.

Buffy:  Exactly. Relax! You earned it. Sit in your seat, you eat your 
peanuts, you watch the movie, well, unless it's about a dog or Chevy 

Kendra:  I'll remember. (opens the cab door)

Buffy:  I, um... I just wanted to thank you... for helping me save 

Kendra:  Mm. Am not tellin' me Watcher about dat. It is too strange dat 
a Slayer loves a vampire.

Buffy:  (smirks) Tell me about it.

Kendra:  Still, he is pretty cute.

Buffy:  Well, maybe they won't fire me for dating him.

Kendra:  You always do dat.

Buffy:  Do what?

Kendra:  You talk about slaying like it's a job. It's not. It's who you 

Buffy:  Did you get that from your handbook?

Kendra:  From you.

Buffy:  I guess it's something I really can't fight. (smiles) I'm a 

Kendra:  Not de only freak.

Buffy:  Not anymore.

They look at each other for a moment, then Buffy makes a move to hug 
Kendra, but she backs away.

Kendra:  I don't hug.

Buffy:  Right. No. Good. Hate hugs.

Kendra smiles at her and gets into the cab. Buffy holds up her hand in 
good-bye. She watches as the taxi pulls away.

Cut to the church. The fire has burned itself out. The camera pans over 
the scorched rubble of the pipe organ to Spike, unconscious but 
breathing. Drusilla grabs him by the arm. She is vamped out.

Drusilla:  Don't worry, dear heart.

She pulls him off of the floor and holds him up by his arm. His head 
just droops down.

Drusilla:  I'll see that you get strong again.

She scoops up his legs with her other arm.

Drusilla:  Like me!

Slowly she carries him from the charred remains of the church.

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