Episode Number: 7.16
Running Time: ---
Summary written by Leoff
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Previously on Buffy the Vampire Slayer: The Troika introduce themselves to Buffy, Dark Willow Flays Warren, Andrew and Johnathan high-tail it to Mexico, Warren/the First talks to Andrew, Andrew kills Johnathan, Willow catches Andrew buying blood, Giles shows up with the first three potentials, Wood asks Buffy out, Wood reveals his "son of a Slayer" connection, Spike killing Wood's Mom.
Classical background music, a roaring fireplace, and shelves of books. The scene is very "Masterpiece Theater" as the camera pans over to Andrew, clad in smoking jacket and pipe, who introduces the "Gentle Viewers" to "Buffy, Slayer of... the Vampyres." (Yes, he pronounces it like "Vam-PYre")
Buffy marches determined through a graveyard as Andrew narrates, talking about Buffy's mission, how she has a "job" to do. She stops before a large grave, but then is attacked from behind by a vampire, who after a brief one-two punch, is dusted via a crossbow bolt. "unfortunately, Vampyres have a job to do, too..." Andrew says as we see another come up on Buffy and a fight ensues, with Buffy being slammed hard against a headstone.
"Owch, my goodness! Things look bad for the Slayer, don't they? She didn't see that second Vamyre conceiled by cover of darkness!" Masterpiece Theater Andrew addresses the audience, but is interrupted in the background by a knocking at a door. He tries to continue, but then his fantasy is blown. What was the stately library setting is really Buffy's bathroom, and Anya was the person who knocked. "For god's sakes Andrew, you've been in here for 30 minutes. What have you been doing?" She asks. "Entertaining and educating" he says as we see a video camera sitting on a stool, propped up like a tripod to shoot him. "Why can't you just masturbate like the rest of us?" Anya asks an awkward Andrew.
Opening Credits: as last time, nothing new... nothing new...
(to make things a bit easier to understand, fantasy sequences will be put in italics)
The Vampire bears down on Buffy, but it's an easy kill as she quickly dusts him. Andrew walks out from behind a tree, camcorder in hand. "That's great! I completely got you dusting that guy on film. Hey, why do vampires show up on video?" Andrew's excited, but Buffy is annoyed, not wanting Andrew to film her. He says that the video is going to be a story for the ages as Buffy walks away annoyed, Andrew in tow.
Anya pulls Andrew out of the bathroom and they talk in the hall as Anya asks Andrew what the hell he's doing taking up the bathroom (in the background we see three SIT's have been waiting to get in). Andrew tries to explain to Anya how he wants to make a "legacy for future generations" with the camera, but Anya thinks it's a waste of time, until Andrew tells her that later he'd like to do her personal interview, getting her take on things. This of course suckers her in, and now she's ready to be interviewed.
From the camcorder's POV (shot in actual video, not film, with battery counter in the corner and all) Andrew explains the overall story to the viewer from the basement, using his "Big Board" from the last episode, but with new drawings on it. Andrew first explains that they're in Sunnydale, California and under the local high school there's a Hellmouth that attracts all sorts of bad people and Vampire. Next, he talks of the Seal of Danzithar and tells (a little awkwardly) of it being opened recently. Talks about the Ubervamp coming out. The whole thing is being orchestraited by the First (made up of all the evil in the whole world). Lastly shows drawings of the Bringers, who he says "are very mobile for blind people."
Camcorder in hand, Andrew is now in a very crowded Summers kitchen. Dawn, Roma, Xander, Willow, Kennedy, Molly, Amanda, and others are present as he films them pouring and gobbling down tons of cereal. Xander briefly complains when he's left out of Andrew's introduction of the women, but then smiles when Andrew says he'll get Xander's personal interview as the "heart" of the group later. Buffy and Spike walk in, and Spike lights up, getting a quick second-hand smoke jab from Dawn. Andrew then says it's time to get introductions, which gets Amanda all excited as she waves into the camera, but Andrew says not her yet, they've got to start from the top. First, there's Buffy
"You've already met Buffy. She's beautiful, with a lion's heart and the face of an angel" Andrew narrates the quite different perspective with a slow-motion romance-novel Buffy, hair blowing in the wind, smiling seductively, pouring "Wheat Flakes" cereal. Spike strides in (of course, sans-shirt) and they look lovingly in each other's eyes and just start to kiss as Anya comes swirling in from the side, sensuously eating grapes from a bunch. "Anya, a feisty waif with a firey temper and a vulnerable heart that she hides, even from herself." Slowly another blonde girl comes into view, smiling and eating cereal "This lovely girl... I don't remember her name."
"oh, for god's sakes is he doing that again?" Buffy interrupts, wanting Andrew to stop the filming. Buffy wants him to stop wasting time, but the others are slowly warming up to the idea, with Willow commenting the girls can watch the tapes to help their training, and Xander and Anya saying it's good documentation. Buffy asks Spike what he thinks. Spike doesn't care as long as it's not pointed at him, it keeps 'the boy' busy. Buffy is still upset, but not at Andrew. She sighs as she starts to address the others, saying she has to tell them what's really going on. This prompts Andrew to back out of the room slowly, camcorder still filming...
"Honestly, gentle viewers, these motivating speeches of hers tend to get a little long" Andrew says into the camera. He instead uses his brief escape to introduce himself, a man with a dark past, a former "supervillian."
Bubbling test-tubes, tons of lab equipment, and scewed camera angles make up the supervillian scene as Andrew describes his latest plan to Johnathan and Warren, who both hang on his every word. In a very "Batman-ish" style, Andrew explains that they're going to make Buffy "super magnetic", where everything metal will instantly be attracted to her, including knives and swords! Warren brings up that they may be wearing metal belt buckles. "In my plan, we are belt-less" Andrew tells them as both practically swoon over him.
"Heh heh... Warren was cool. And wasn't Johnathan just the cutest thing?" Andrew then grabs the recording camcorder from it's table perch and checks back in on Buffy from the next room. Buffy still is rambling on about her vision and how each one of them must be prepared. Willow is seen half-listening to Buffy, looking quite bored, which Andrew comments on. Kennedy then walks up to Willow's side and smiles at her, caressing her sleeve. Andrew explains that Willow and Kennedy were kind of in a bad place for a bit, but they're slowly making up. He tells the camera Kennedy was smitten by Willow and her Magic, but didn't realize Willow had a dark side. He then tells of his own personal experiences with "dark Willow..."
"Johnathan... Andrew... You boys like magic, don't you?" It's a flashback scene to the Magic Box as Dark Willow faces off against the two Troika members, but things are a little different, with Andrew standing confidently up against the black-eyed wiccan as Johnathan cowers behind him. Dark Willow lets loose with a blast of her black lightning-magic, but Andrew absorbes it into his hand and waves it away, exclaiming "Haltem!" Dark Willow smiles evily, not expecting such power. The verbal wit is exchanged between Dark Willow (actual scenes from Two to Go) and Andrew, with Johnathan still cowering behind Andrew.
Half in a dream, Andrew snaps back to reality and the recording camera. He noticed Buffy's talking has stopped (which usually means she had to go to work), so he dashes off to see what was left for breakfast.
Buffy strides into the school hallway, mumbling that she's technically not late until the bell rings, when she spots a small crowd gathered around two boys who are facing each other off, throwing jabs at one another. Buffy rushes in and separates them awkwardly, ordering them to stop it and get to class just as the bell rings. The hallway starts to slowly clear as Buffy then notices a girl standing by a locker, looking very sad. Very slowly, the girl starts to fade away. "Uh oh..." Buffy says as she rushes up to the dissapearing girl "Hey, shy girl... don't do this!" By now she's completely gone, but Buffy reaches up and slaps the invisible girl. She quickly fades back into sight, smiling and commenting "you knew I was there... you noticed me..." Buffy tells her it will be ok, just as another girl comes out of a washroom door, crying. "The mirror said I was fat!" she sobs as she goes sobbing away. Buffy then notices a truly geeky looking guy complaining to two others about how rough schoolwork is. He's going a mile a minute and says that if things keep up, he feels like he's gonna explode! Buffy rushes up and tells him to calm down, it will be ok, then asks one of the other two boys if they could give him a foot rub?
"Something's going on" Buffy says as she marches up to Principal Wood in his office, but he himself has noticed as he dabs up a small wound on his head. Someone threw a rock at him when he was getting out of his car. Buffy helps tend to his wound as she explains that in the past things at the high school tended to become real, based on the general mood of the students. She says she's seen them before, just never all at once. "So... hell's a bustin out all over?" Wood asks? "Exactly" Buffy comments.
Brief camcorder view of Andrew in front of his "Big Board" who smiles and lightly taps the hellmouth/seal of danzithar picture.
Buffy then compares the school experience as if it was a war. Wood thinks she's joking at first, but Buffy explains that in school, everybody seems to be at war with each other. The teachers are out to get the students, the Chess club is out to get the French club, etc. "If you don't do something right now, we could have a riot on our hands. Or worse..." Buffy says. Wood asks "like what?" Just then, we here from outside the office the panicing geek from above scream out in a weird tone, then we hear a "pop" and see guts splatter on the office windows. "Really should have had that foot rub..." Buffy quips.
Commercial Break: Windex makes it SHINE! Even those mirrors that tell you you're fat!
"Dawn, typical american teenager. Bubbly and sweet but with a hunger for fun, and a smile that lights up the room" Andrew's camcorder is now pointed at a seated Dawn, who smiles and waves hello. Andrew tells that she was a Key, but he doesn't know what that means exactly.
"Heyyy... here's something I think you're gonna be interested in" says Andrew as the Camcorder view slowly comes up on Willow and Kennedy, who lazy on the couch in constant lip-lock. He focuses in on them... no... wait... not on them, but they're still in shot. Instead the window in back and above them comes into focus. "Look at the fine work Xander did on replacing that window sash. You can't even tell it's new, it blends in so well. He's extrordinary."
Buffy and Wood look over the High school's blueprints as Wood asks Buffy about her past experiences. She says she's seen this kinda stuff before. He asks what's making it all happen now. Her guess is the seal in the basement. Buffy says from the Hellmouth, "all the evil is trying to excape from this one little spot and it's getting all..." "Focusy" Wood finishes for her. She smiles "starting to speak like me now."
"This is Xander and Anya interview 1 for Buffy, the Slayer of Vampyres." Andrew says into the lens as Xander and Anya sit on the couch in back. "That's what you're calling it?" Anya asks. "Either that or 'Buffy, the Slayer who knew no fear.' " Andrew finishes as Xander voices his approval at the second title. Andrew sits in interview mode with the camera sitting on a table next to him, focused on the couple. He opens up with the question "It was exactly one year ago today that you left Anya at the alter. Any comment on that?" Xander, of course, is thrown by the question "whoa... what the hell..." "I just think people will be interested" Andrew says, which Anya agrees with as she turns towards Xander and asks him what he has to say about it. Xander is put on the spot for a moment, saying he apologized, but it wasn't something that he had to apologize for, etc. He then tells Anya that it would have been wrong, that it's over, but Anya says they still "spark." They both get jealous over each other. Then Anya says she still loves him, and knows he still loves her. Xander is left speechless when Andrew asks "Is that true Xander? Do you still love her?"
Buffy and Wood walk into the seal room and, once again, it's uncovered. Wood says it wants to turn the students into monsters or whatever and doesn't want to stay hidden. Buffy then confesses to Robin that she had a vision of hundreds of vicious vampires. She starts to tell about the one ubervamp that came from the seal when Robin goes to investigate it closer, actually standing on it and bending down to study it's markings. Buffy is uneasy at him doing so, telling him that Willow did a search on it's markings and couldnt' find anything. "And you trust her?" Robin questions her. Buffy says yes, why not. Wood says that he's wary, they've all been evil at one time or another. Buffy tries to laugh it off, saying they've all had bad patches, and that she herself hasn't been evil. "Evil is what evil does, and I know what you've been doing" Robin says in a very spooky tone. He stands from the seal to face her and his eyes are a milky white. "You're with that vampire, screwing that vampire... you filthy whore!" His voice gets lower, more ghostly, as he starts towards her menacingly, but she side-steps him and sends him flying into the wall, knocking him dizzy. Buffy asks if he's ok. He shakes off the possession and asks what happened. Buffy says the seal took control of him for a moment. Robin then gets up, concerned, saying they've gotta get this thing closed, but how? Buffy thinks that she knows who they can start with: "the guy who fed it it's first drop of blood." Just then a small pig goes running by them. "God I hope that's not a student" Robin quips.
Camera view, and Spike is pissed at Andrew's filming him. "I thought I told you to piss off with this bloody camera. Any here you are with this thing in my face." Spike flicks his cigarrette in the camera's lens "Just sod off, or I'll rip your throat out and eat..." Andrew then interrupts, telling Spike that he stepped forward, getting the light behind him. "Oh, oh right." Spike sighs and walks back into the light of a nearby light "This better then?" He prepares himself and starts again: "I thought I told you to piss off with that bloody camera, yet here you are again with that thing in my face. Just sod off..."
Xander and Anya are still on the couch talking, discussing the past, trying to talk through things. Anya is almost at the begging to ask him if he still loves her. Xander says yes, he always will, he just is unsure if it means anything for them anymore. Anya agrees, which makes Xander smile. They continue to talk, not knowing the camcorder, placed on a different table, recorded the entire conversation. Andrew watches the taped conversation through the viewfinder, mouthing Anya's words along with her as she talks of Xander's heroism and bravery. When the scene is over, he scans backwards to watch it again, but Buffy and Robin enter, interrupting him. "Heads up, Andrew. We've gotta talk." Buffy says that it's Andrews turn to help out, but Andrew says he's more into the videotaping right now. Buffy tells him he will help out because he knows more about the seal than anyone else.
The door to the seal chaimber opens and five students enter in a trance-like state, surrounding the outer edge of the seal and kneeling at each one of it's five points. With outstretched hands they start chanting in some mystic language as the seal starts to glow an eery white.
Commercial Break: Coming soon to a theater near you, the sequel to the sequel's sequel! "Die Even More Harder with a whole lot of Vengence!"
"Somewhere in Mexico, 2002" reads the caption as we see a small, run-down shack. Andrew and Johnathan are sleeping together in a bed, bundled up in blankets. Both of them start having the same nightmarish dream, with chanting over a scene showing flashes of the Bringers, the Seal of Dazithar, the Ubervamp, the SIT's getting killed (and a split second shot of the Cheeseman!), and ending with the seal opening. They both bolt upright, stricken with terror at their dream, asking if they each had it again. Andrew also comments that "that voice" was speaking again, saying "Desme abdo Tay Deborah". They don't know what it means, but they'll look it up in the Dictonario later. Andrew and Johnathan do a "hunted men" rant, with Johnathan saying he wasn't even that evil. "I thought you were Evil" Andrew re-assures him, which Johnathan thanks him for.
"Ok, I think we're getting a little off track here." Says Willow as a small group of scoobies surrounds Andrew, who holds a glowing rock. He was re-telling his accounts of his Mexican adventures to the group, but Andrew wants to talk about other stuff, The others are confrontational and want information from him, and tell him to keep it on topic. He goes back to his story...
Johnathan gets out of bed and goes off to the bathroom as Andrew tries to calm himself by singing "La Cucaracha", but he turns in bed to see Warren/the First standing over him. "Did you get the knife?" The First asks a visibly shaken Andrew. Some small talk between the two before Warren/the First asks again if Andrew has the knife. Andrew says yes, he had to go and get it from a demon-guy who sells all sorts of strange weapons. Andrew takes out a box from under the bed and takes out an ornate dagger (not like the Bringer's curved blades). Warren/the First asks about Johnathan. Andrew says he's got a shy bladder and he'll be a while, then re-enforces the shyness by calling out to Johnathan and asking if he's ok? "Don't talk to me, I'm fine." says an out of shot Johnathan. Andrew then questions the killing part of the plan, but Warren/the First says that "that boy's" blood is special and important to the plan, and if all goes well they'll be treated like gods. Andrew thinks of the words and drifts off
"We are as gods, we are gods, we're gods" sing the Troika members, who dance in a field of flowers, wrapped in togas. Warren strums a lyre, Johnathan swings a pitcher and cup around, and Andrew picks a flower as the scene shows butterflies, bright sunshine, and a pile of gold bricks wrapped up in bows.
Warren/The First presses him to "Drive the words deep into him" and that if he does this, all will be good. "Got it. If I kill him with the knife, we'll live as gods." Andrew starts to dream off again.
"Wait a minute... go back for a second to that last part." Willow says, interrupting Andrew's tale. Andrew wonders which part, then the singing starts up for a second "We are as gooooods" before Willow says no, the part about the knife. She knows it might be important and sends Kennedy to search Andrew's things for it. Andrew stops her for a second, saying the knife is in the kitchen in the cutlery drawer. Shocked looks all around as Andrew says they didn't have any steak knives. Spike asks what's so important about the knife. Willow recalls Andrew saying the First told him about driving the words deep into him, maybe the knife has writing? Andrew says there was some pattern on the blade, but he didn't think much of it. Kennedy returns with the dagger and Willow looks at it briefly before she hands it to Andrew, asking him how he is with demon languages. It's in Tuarik he says, or rather a very old Tuarik. Wood says now they know the knife and the language are connected. Andrew says rather silently that he knows enough about the language and he reads the dagger's blade, which says "The blood which I spill will concecrate the oldest evil." Willow takes the blade from Andrew as Buffy asks if she can do something with it. Willow thinks she can help.
"I think it's worth a shot" Willow says as both she and Buffy rise from her laptop and walk back into the living room, telling Andrew they're taking a little trip to the Seal. Robin asks why. Buffy and Willow say the Seal seems to know the language, so maybe they can talk with it. Buffy tells Robin and Spike to come along as Andrew slowly rises to follow Buffy.
Nighttime and the school hallway is quite different. Trashcans are set ablaze, graffitti is everywhere (Including "Die Cheerleaders" and "Band Rules") and the hallways are a mess as Buffy, Robin, Spike, and a camcorder-weilding Andrew walk among the mess via flashlight. they continue ito look into a walk around, looking in a classroom, as Robin throws a quick verbal jab at how Spike would like to take advantage of the crazed students.
Down another hall Spike comments that the kids went nuts around there, which Robin agrees with, but Buffy tells them to be quiet as they see kids off in the distance acting all rowdie. Robin says they're all the way at the other end, but just then WHAP! He gets hit in the face with a fire extinguisher by an around-a-corner student! Other students come out from corners and attack, the fight begins! Andrew rushes off into a corner, filming the fight, as Spike, Robin, and Buffy all punch and kick and fight a small handfull of students. Towards the end, Spike gets a little too nasty with one student, punching him hard, which promps Buffy to say "Spike, don't kill them. They're just students." "They'll live" he snarks back as he punches one he had pinned once more before moving on.
At the basement door finally, they separate, with Buffy and a reluctant Andrew going down into the basement. Andrew is still in "filming" mode, trying to narrate their decent down the stairs, before Buffy tells him she's had enough and takes his camera! *gasp*. Andrew says he wants to still film things, but Buffy says no, not wanting a biographer who's a murderer. Andrew says he's not really a murderer and wishes she wouldnt' keep tossing that word around. Buffy looks at him in surprise as he tries to explain the influence Warren/The First had on him...
"Stab him" urges Warren/the First. Johnathan continues to dig up the seal in a flashback sequence that doesn't quite match what was seen before. Andrew addresses the First, which only he can see, which naturally makes Johnathan go "huh? What?" Warren/the First continues to press and insult as Andrew pulls out the dagger, wondering if he can use it. Johnathan's eyes widen at the sight of the knife, then he gets mad, claiming he was tricked, as the two start to wrestle. Warren/the First yells at Andrew that he has to kill Johnathan otherwise he'll hate Andrew forever! Andrew stabs Johnathan, which sends his friend to the floor dead. Andrew raises his hands up towards the sky in supplication, screaming "noooooo!"
"See, I'm a man trapped by circumstances into paying for a crime I didn't even..." Andrew continues as they walk down the basement maze, but Buffy cuts him off, remembering Wood. She comments how it was simililar to Robin's possession, which gets Andrew to thinking...
Warren/the First watches as Johnathan and Andrew uncover the seal. Once again at the end of Johnathan's atonement speech. Andrew suddenly turns, his eyes all milky white, as he smiles evily and stabs Johnathan, who falls on the ground. Andrew instantly comes to, dropping the knife in horror "What have I done? Get out of my BRAIN! Aaaaaaaaaaaah!" as he raises his hands up towards the sky in supplication again...
"You just completely changed your entire story" Buffy says as the two walk up towards the Seal room's door. From outside Buffy and Andrew can hear the students chanting. Andrew starts to turn to walk away, but Buffy holds him, saying to be prepared. They don't know what may have happened to the students. They open the door to find the five students, who turn towards them, their eyes "crossed out" and sewn up like Bringers.
Commercial Break: "Mom, ever have that not-so-fresh feeling?" "Well yeah, duh! I've been dead for a month now!"
Back at the Summers home, down on Spike's cot in the basement, lay Xander and Anya. Yep, they just "did it." They both comment on how good it was, and feel sorry that Buffy took Spike's chains down from the wall. But they both talk and both feel like this was a "one more time", feeling that the relationship just isn't there anymore.
Spike and Robin are on the lookout, wondering what's taking Buffy and Andrew so long. Suddenly the silence is broken by more attacking students! Hard to tell if there's two or three, but there's a brief fight before Spike and Robin fend them off. One of the students drops a sharp stake-like piece of wood, which Robin spots and grabs. He sees Spike, hunched over, trying to catch his breath and suddenly starts forward, his arm going back for a downward staking! But he is broadsided by another attacking student and the blow is stopped.
Down in the Seal room, the new Bringer/students attack! Five against one as Buffy starts to lay into them. Andrew grabs his Camcorder and starts filming from the corner, getting all the action on video, complete with dramatic commentary. Soon she fends them all off and they take off past Andrew and out the door.
Then Andrew sees through his viewfinder Buffy, how pulls out the dagger and says "your turn Andrew." Andrew is suddenly nervous as he puts down the camcorder and starts to walk away from Buffy, both circling the still glowing Seal. Andrew asks if she wants him to read what's on the knife while standing on the seal and command it to stop working. Buffy is getting him nervous, wondering if he really thinks they came there to talk to the Seal? Andrew says that you can't give it blood, it will open it, and opening it is bad. Buffy says that Willow did a little research and it turns out that the blood of the first person to open it, that being Andrew, could close it. Andrew starts speaking again, playing the tragic hero, over-acting with a speech about his redemption, but Buffy tells him to stop, saying that life isn't a story. She says that he turns everything into a story so that no-one is responsible for having to follow the script. Andrew says he's upset that he lost his friend. She says he didn't lose his friend, he murdered him. Andrew is now terrified and says that she doesn't need to kill him, they can all get through this like she said. Buffy then says that she made it all up. She's tired of having to make a bunch of speeches where they're all gonna live because they won't. Good people are going to die, maybe her, maybe him... probably right now...
Buffy grabs Andrew by the back and holds him over the glowing Seal, the knife in her other hand drawn and ready to stab. Andrew slowly breaks down and starts to cry, saying that he saw Warren but he knew it wasn't him, that he murdered his friend, he killed Johnathan. He sobs as he says he's going to die. Slowly the tears on his face stream down, then drop onto the seal, first one, then two more. Suddenly the seal stops glowing! Mission accompliched, Buffy let's go of Andrew, who falls on the seal, confused and stunned by what happened. "It didn't want blood, it wanted tears" Buffy tells him, as he thanks her. He asks if she was gonna stab him. Buffy smiles sympathetically and says she wasn't gonna stab him. He then asks "what if the tears didn't work?" Buffy looks at him coldly and slowly walks away.
In mid combat, Spike and Robin are getting in the good punches, when suddenly all comes to a hault! The students all stop attacking at the same time, and start to wander around in a daze. "She got it done" Robin mumbles as the two look on and breathe a sigh of relief.
Back at the Summers home, up in his bathroom "studio", Andrew looks into the lens of the recording camcorder: "Here's the thing. I killed my best friend. There's a big fight coming, and I don't know what's gonna happen. I don't even think I'm gonna live through it. That's, ah, probably the way it should be. I guess I...
"We are as goooods!" (Even the Mutant Enemy changes his tune)
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